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Greeks More Likely To Graduate On Time Than Idiot GDIs, Study Shows

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The Greek community has come under attack by a few rogue media outlets lately, but you probably haven’t noticed. The organizations doing the perpetrating have all the firepower of the Ukrainian army, so there is really no threat. At the end of the day, we’re calling the shots in the yard, and if you’re not down with that, I got two words for ya:

Still, it always feels nice when the cold, hard objective numbers support the Greek community’s flexing in GDIs’ faces.

“Four-year graduation rates are notably higher for Greek members, with male and female members being 4.8 and 4.7 percentage points more likely to do so, respectively (compared to non-members),” the researchers write. “The increased likelihoods of graduating on time may stem from Greek members having an added incentive to stay enrolled and keep a minimum GPA, so that they can continue to belong to the organization.”

“Membership in a Greek organization is found to increase the frequency of smoking cigarettes, drinking beer, drinking wine or liquor, and hours per week partying during the senior year,” they write. While they found only small increases in smoking, they found fraternity and sorority members drink much more frequently than non-members.

I’m admittedly not a huge fan of nerds coming out with studies: too much scientific method, not enough references to God. However, I can totally get behind any study that proves Greek life has a positive relationship with graduation rates. Granted, I don’t know whether that relationship is causational or correlational, because I have no clue what either of those words mean.

Regardless, it’s refreshing to see our love of excess–as well as our apathy toward repercussions–doesn’t have any negative ramifications. We just sit back, mess around, crack open a few cold ones, and still come out more successful than people who take college seriously. What a great country we live in.

[via Pacific Standard]

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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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