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Fuck This Guy Who Dyed His Dog Into An Auburn Tiger

They’re good dogs, Auburn.

I am all for some good college football fandom. Sure, collect the free “Beat Texas” shirts or snag yourself a piece of that torn-down goalpost. Hell, take a chunk of grass with ya on the last day of the season if it was one to remember. But if you’re going to dye your Maltese’s fur and turn him into your school’s mascot, then you’re no friend of mine.

See, the SEC Media Days are famous (infamous?) for bringing out the crazy that’s (poorly) hidden inside the wildest of football fanatics, and this year was no different. On Thursday, one Auburn fan was quite the spectacle thanks to his pup, a maltese with dyed fur representing the Auburn Tigers.

Now before you ask, the dye job doesn’t hurt the dog. So if you’re with PETA, you can go fist yourself. Actually, you can go fist yourself either way, PETA.

From AL.com:

His name is Tiger Jake and is a maltese. His owner, Ron Sanford of Birmingham, told me on The Opening Kickoff on WNSP-FM 105.5 this isn’t a new look for Jake.

“It’s not paint. It’s hair dye,” said Sanford, who added it was animal friendly. “We’ve done this for two years. He gets it done every six weeks.”

Samford, a retired carpenter, said Tiger Jake goes to all the Auburn home games and plan to go to Clemson this year.

His goal today?

Get a Gus Malzahn autograph, of course.

Adorable? Yes. But you’re still no friend of mine, buddy. I already have to dock you a good amount of points for owning a maltese in the first place.

Second, this is like another level beyond putting clothes on your dog, something that should never ever never ever ever never be done to begin with. It’s not like this guy can just go home and take his pup’s tigerness off when he decides to stop being such a weirdo. This is semi-permanent. Dude’s made a commitment to weirdness. So odd. This is right up there with the “getting your dick pierced” type of crazy.

Respect your meat. Respect your dog. Respect women. Disrespect Kansas. Game over.

[via AL.com]

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El Taco

Either a war hero or war criminal depending on how you look at it

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