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Guy Goes To The Bathroom, Oops A Python Bites His Dick

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A Thai dude was recently bitten in the penis by a 10-foot python.

From the Associated Press:

Attaporn Boonmakchuay is recovering from a bloody encounter with a 3-meter (10-foot) python that slithered through the plumbing of his home and latched its jaws onto his penis as he was using a squat toilet.

The 38-year-old told Thai TV Channel 7 that he struggled to remove the snake for 30 minutes Wednesday before he managed to free himself with help from his wife and a neighbor. After his wife tied a rope around the snake, Attaporn pried open its jaws before passing out.

Attaporn was smiling as Thai television stations interviewed him in his hospital bed about the intimate intrusion, and doctors said he would recover.

Jesus Christ. This is why America is the greatest country in the world. This kind of stuff just doesn’t happen here (except in Florida). The bathroom is a place where a man can sit and reflect, and be alone with his thoughts. I can barely imagine the horrors that Attaporn went through, but I also can’t stop picturing what his wife and neighbor must have seen when they walked in after hearing the screaming. The guy was probably flailing around like a wacky waving inflatable tube man, getting sucked off by the nightmare serpent for 30 minutes before he finally managed to get free.

But props to Attaporn for recovering like a champ, and even more so to his doctors, who probably had to do a lot of plas-dick surgery to get this man his pride back.

If you’re anywhere near Thailand, protect your junk. You’ve been warned.

[via Associated Press]

Image via Shutterstock

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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