Going to an SEC school was unthinkable because I really did come from old money. I wear boat shoes because I really do own a boat with sailing privileges beyond the Chattahoochee River. My slampieces are not related to me. While southern fratstars grew up learning how to “live off the land,” I grew up with class and sophistication because I know that, just as my ancestors hazed the fuck out of the south in the years 1861-65, I can do the same. New England. TFM.

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