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Here’s Jen Selter Practically Making Sex With A Workout Machine

Screen Shot 2014-12-16 at 9.57.18 AM

Look out, Dorno, it’s Mr. Steal-Yo-Instagram-Crush. Jen Selter, notorious internet ass queen, is up to her old tricks on Instagram. Jen doesn’t post as often as she used to, probably because her business manager she realized that a single picture of her ass is worth tens of thousands of dollars, but when she does post, she makes that shit count. Exhibit A(ss):

#MondayMotivation @squatspo

A video posted by Jen Selter (@jenselter) on

Got…DAMN. Some might say that Russia’s mounting tension in Eastern Europe may cause World War III, but for my money, it’s gonna be this caboose. Look at that thing. She knows exactly what she’s doing. The Smithsonian needs to curate a life-size, animatronic dummy of her and put it in the Natural Science museum at the end of the evolution exhibit, because this is what the top of the ass food chain looks like.

Mercy me.

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TheChampionsTour

The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don’t know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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