#HeterosexualPrideDay Is Trending On Twitter And People Are Pissed

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Happy Straight Pride Day! Apparently, Twitter is deciding to lock in on the idea that everyone gets a day, which is a huge step forward for social equality. I can’t see how this could possibly backfire in any way, seeing as folks these days are mad accepting. People are pretty pissed, actually.

I think straight guys would prefer a nice pie. *High-Five*

Ed Hardy shirts are for posers regardless of lifestyle, and everyone knows Chili’s is where you find babes.

How about when you drop off a girl five minutes after her curfew and end up having to skip the goodnight handshake so you can avoid gunfire? Southern dads are cray.

Self-hating straights? Have a little dignity, wuss.

I’ll take “Dolita your accuunt!” And the crowd goes wild! Sajak resigns for his poor grammar.

Troll game (100 emoji).

Way too warm for cable knits. You’ll find me in some baggies and a fresh pair of topsiders.

Just like Jeopardy, fam.

Too easy. Way too easy.

Y’all hate cargos, too? Vote in the first annual NF Bracket then. Make your voices heard!

I thought farts were the universal language. So much for unity.

Every time a misled activist tweets, Hillary deletes an e-mail.

What everyone’s failing to realize is that, for every one person pulling a troll job, there are about 50 calling out about how “awful” this whole thing is. Much like Deflategate and Nicolas Cage movies, this is only happening because you’re allowing it. Your butthurt is its ambrosia. Let the triggering continue.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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