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How To Hook Up With Your Hot TA

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All universities look to save money on your education. It’s just kind of a rule that if and when they can get by on cutting some corners, they probably will. One of these common manifestations are the huge, introductory courses that almost every student in a particular major has to take. These are almost certainly taught in the largest halls on campus. But the great thing about these introductory, core-level classes are actually their sheer magnitude in size. Sure, most colleges boast about their “low class sizes” and consequent “personal relationships with your professors,” but I don’t buy into that rhetoric. I would argue that the huge classes actually tend to be the most favorable.

For one, attendance is typically a pretty lax affair. Unless you’re tormented by one of those tyrannical “clicker” professors, having you push a button to register your presence, you can basically skip whenever you want without a hint of repercussion. Even then, pledges are always available for the quick sub-in. Secondly, the sheer volume of the class means that the material more or less has to be generalized to the lowest common denominator. This is not to say that these classes are easy per se, but the material presented has to be understood by any given Tom, Nancy, or Dan on your campus. Not to mention the proclivity of recycled material from classes past, where the benefits of a solid test bank really come in handy. Finally, every large class you take affords you the chance to be taught by a hot TA.

Invariably, these TAs are mostly graduate students, meaning that the odds of getting a bang-worthy one are pretty slim. Most graduate students aren’t really into keeping up their physical appearance, since their chosen career path has been to actually continue going to classes. They’re the sickos who get a kick out of researching things at the library, discussing “innovative ideas,” and actually cared about their grades in undergrad. Pretty much the opposite of you.

But don’t worry, this actually helps you. Contrary to popular belief, graduate students are people, too. They have the same weird desires as you (maybe? Probably not, actually) to get their swerve on after a long day. They want to romp around playing a spirited game of Whack-a-Hole just as much as the next chick. Simply put, they’re just as thirsty as any other group of girls on campus; they’re just better at suppressing it. So when you finally get that hot one, you can be relatively sure she’s as down as anyone else.

Additionally, they have neither the time nor the desire to pursue any sort of relationship that isn’t strictly physical. There are a lot of “rules” and “guidelines” about TAs being forbidden from sleeping with students, so everything has to be off the books. Besides, adding an air of danger to the situation for fear of getting caught, which is always hot for girls, both parties know what they’re getting into before you even start. This means no fear of attachment for you, zero maintenance to keep up with, and the freedom to explore other avenues. In other words, just your style. There’s also the added benefit of getting some better grades, so it even makes sense academically.

That brings us to how one goes about landing an ass-full of academic assistance. Fortune favors the bold, son. My advice is to study up a bit first. Carefully watch some of those classic naughty teacher pornos and memorize all the opening lines. Those things are gold. I mean, there’s a reason they get featured as the main dialogue in those videos. It’s because they work. Write a few down on your hands if you have to. Next, figure out when her office hours are. You don’t want a class full of pervs peeping all your good lines. Then hit her with a barrage of innuendos so strong that she practically has to accept. She’ll be so impressed with your clever verbiage and double-entendres that the rest practically writes itself. Then soak in all the benefits you’ll be reveling in from banging your TA. It’s as simple as that. Just don’t get caught.

Image via Shutterstock

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