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I Don’t Need Your Handouts, 7/11

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There’s a 7/11 located a short walk down the street from my fraternity house, and I’ve been going there to grab cheap beer for several years now. All the clerks recognize me, and they even let me head into the stock room to grab the beer I need whenever I buy large amounts. I’ve probably put their CEO’s daughter through a semester at community college by now, and can definitely say I have a positive business relationship with them. So it pains me every year in July to see this crap that Sev is trying to pull on all of us.


Dallas convenience store chain 7-Eleven celebrates every July 11 with free Slurpee drinks. (Because the date is 7/11. Get it?) Just stop by any participating store between 11:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. to grab a free small-sized cup in any available flavor. Flavors may vary from store to store.

And this is actually a milestone year for the Slurpee. The frozen drink is celebrating its 50th birthday. In honor of the occasion this year, 7-Eleven has introduced a special ‘Birthday Cake’ flavor. Monday offers Slurpee fans the perfect opportunity to try it out for free.

But there’s more!

Another deal starts on Tuesday for anyone using the 7-Eleven mobile app. The company is offering “hardcore fans” the chance to get 11 free Slurpee drinks when they purchase seven of them at regular price — for the person who needs 18 frozen drinks to slurp down in the heat of the summer. The offer runs until next Monday.

I cringed at the thought of “hardcore fans” of Slurpees. For them, 7/11 is just another day, and us filthy casuals are ruining the whole experience for them. These are the guys that are on the scene at 7/11 every damn day, showing up early in the morning in the hopes that a new flavor will be available.

As for me, I’m not a charity case like the people that will inevitably be lining up outside the store to get their hands on a small frozen drink. If I don’t spend my hard-earned money on my snacks, they just don’t taste as good. When I do pick up a three-pack of questionable taquitos and a 48-oz Slurpee, you bet your ass I’m dropping that five-dollar bill. Between setting up hundreds of locations in Southeast Asia and offering free handouts to the drooling masses on July the 11th, the folks at 7/11 have nearly lost my business. One more step out of line, and then I might stop picking up Takis chips from there every single day.

[via CBS DFW]

Image via Shutterstock

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