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Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking

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After a week of conquering or flat out avoiding your responsibilities, you deserve a reward. Will it be a meal of something other than ramen noodles with chopped up cheese product? Maybe you’ll sleep in past your usual 12:30. Well if you’re a man, then the only real way to show the world your self-respect is by posting up on the porch with a cooler and some company. With the weather in the South doing its damndest to usher in spring, you’re looking at a smooth ride into whatever you have planned in the world of fun. Open your ears and pop a top, because this weekend is looking like prime time for porch drinking.

Leave a suggestion in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. The top comment from each week will be dubbed a fan favorite. Whatever track I dig the most gets an honorable mention. Porch brews ahoy, lets crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: Song of the South, Alabama

Suggested by Jcieft. History, nostalgia, and songwriting rarely come together like this. Randy Owen belts out this particular tune in a way that brings tears to your eyes and a cold one to your lips like few can. The fiddle is unmatched, too.

Honorable Mention: Gimme Some Water, Eddie Money

Suggested by Howard Feltersnatch. Nice. There’s more to Eddie Money than tickets to paradise and taking dimes home. This song might not have the ringing rock guitar that those jams do, but its laid back style and soulful melody will have you going in no time. Plus, if you have well trained pledges and a tendency to sing along you’ll stay hydrated all day.

1. Rye Whiskey/Time to Switch to Whiskey, Corb Lund

You’re getting two for the price of one this week. Rye Whiskey is a short tune popularized by Tex Ritter. As the live crowd will agree, it gets the people going. Lund makes a nice transition to his own stuff that makes a man want to join him with some hard stuff. Tread carefully.

2. Hang Me Out to Dry, Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe

This guy’s got great taste in names and better taste in jamming the hell out. Everything’s better with brass, proven by this take on a song by alt band Cold War Kids. It’s like if P-Funk tried their hand at Master of Puppets, just with fewer parrots.

3. The Road Goes on Forever, Robert Earl Keen

How do people get anything accomplished in Texas? Y’all have the likes of Robert Earl Keen, Pat Green, and George Strait occupying a special place in your heart. If I was you, I’d be so blitzed on my front porch that they’d have to call the coroner. Respect. Like the legend says, the party never ends.

4. Evaporate, The Fontaines

Think 311 in their psychedelic years and you have a good mind for where this song goes. I love the steady bass and the near disco feel this tune has. It pairs well with a few beers and sunshine. I’m coming around on this whole “new music” thing.

5. Coastal Shindig, King Fantastic

Pick up the pace a little bit and get to work. This track probably works just as well at a house party but I prefer parking my ass in a lawn chair and finger dancing. It’s some true, new age pimp shit.

6. Daddy’s Money, Ricochet

Most songs about dream girls deal with wide reaching themes like endless love and eye contact. Ricochet is realistic. If they made a remake of “What Women Want” with a she-Mel Gibson, the whole flick would just be she-Mel hearing this song on an endless loop. There’s nothing wrong with checking a girl’s resume before you hand her a drink and take her back to your place to bang. This song gets it.

7. Feels Like the First Time, Foreigner

Don’t ask why, but this song just sounds better in sunglasses. It’s weird, probably sexual, and an absolute truth. Some songs just sound better when you’re wearing shades. It’s also a top 10 tune if you like playing mellow air guitar. Is there a correlation? Further research is needed. Also, sex.

8. Get Em High, Kanye West ft. Talib Kweli and Common

Can you believe The College Dropout dropped 13 years ago? Funny how things change. Some things never do, such as the fact that this song is an absolute gem among gems. When you put two of Chicago’s finest together with a stud like Talib Kweli, you’re bound to make a masterpiece.

9. Ordinary Average Guy, Joe Walsh

Joe Walsh is one of the biggest rock stars, lifestyle wise if nothing else, ever. Maybe that’s the point he’s trying to make here. Considering the fact that he also happily sings about a mansion he’s never been to and his tendency to tear out hotel walls, it seems our guy has a killer sense of humor. Of course, since it’s Joe Walsh, this song goes.

10. Free-For-All, Ted Nugent

Bow hunting enthusiast, Motor City Madman, and active rock and roll psychopath Ted Nugent is a polarizing guy. I’ve never understood the idea of avoiding quality work by an artist just because of their politics, but it’s a free country. If a person can actively prevent themselves from tapping their foot and jamming along to this tune, then I guess that’s just, like, their opinion man.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. Have a good time and, as always, don’t drink and drive.

Follow along on Spotify for the entire Ideal Songs for Porch Drinking collection.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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