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Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking: By The People, For The People

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porch drinking

Sometimes, the fans of this site can be real pains in the arse. There are the redundant insults, the occasional whining, and the frequent heads that find their way into my mailbox. Just guys being dudes. All of that abuse is worth it in the end, however, because other times you guys can be pretty great. Every week, I ask for you to suggest your favorite songs to get bombed outside to, and by golly, you really made an effort this time. The following tunes are all the product of reader suggestions and might be one of the stronger showings thus far.

These “reader suggestions only” editions might happen from time to time, so be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments so you can spread the musical love and receive your due recognition. The top comment from each edition will be dubbed a fan favorite, and whatever track I dig the most will be given an honorable mention.

That’s enough circle jerking. Let’s crank some tunes.

1. Sultans of Swing, Dire Straits

Suggested by RedLobster69, better known as “Mr. After Dinner Mint.” Pop your first top to a mellow little ditty with jazzy tones and some fantastic guitar.

2. Ruff Ryders’ Anthem, DMX

Suggested by SirCarlosIII. There was more hip hop talk in the TFM comments section last week than I’ve ever seen, and it’s about time suburban kids remember the late ’90s obsession with barking like a dog and half-heartedly freestyling.

3. The Conversation, Hank Williams Jr. and Waylon Jennings

Suggested by Colonel Reb forever. Just two dudes sitting down, talking about music, and passing around a toke. If you can’t relate that to your back porch beer binges then you rushed the wrong house.

4. Mama Tried, Merle Haggard

Suggested by InternationalFratStudent. The Hag was huge internationally, people know that. People in Seoul and Bangkok’s favored way of saying goodbye is actually “Think I’ll just stay here and drink.” Read a book, you untraveled rubes.

5. The Devil Went Down To Georgia, The Charlie Daniels Band

Suggested by Gerald R. Ford. If you ask me, the Devil smoked Johnny with that fiddle solo. Like, wasn’t-even-close blew him out of the water smoked him. I’m probably going to Hell.

6. Cocaine Blues, Johnny Cash

Suggested by Zinky Slinky. Our tour of country legends is complete with the king himself. Much like cocaine, this classic will get your foot moving and your heart palpitating.

7. DNA., Kendrick Lamar

Suggested by BobMotherFuckingBarker. The price is wrong, bitch! Two weeks in a row we get something off Kendrick’s newest album which, upon numerous listens, absolutely bangs. If Grammys counted for anything, I’d be rooting for the kid.

8. Dead Flowers, New Riders Of The Purple Sage

Suggested by TheOldMan. When things get too rough, just sit back and listen to some hippies with a mean guitar express their LSD thoughts verbally.

9. End of the Line, Traveling Wilburys

Suggested by Boston George. The Wilburys proved that you could take a bunch of superstars and make them work together, something that the 2011 Philadelphia Eagles sufficiently disproved decades later.

10. It’s Martini Time, The Reverend Horton Heat

Suggested by DornFromMajorLeague. An outside martini sounds absolutely fantastic, and honestly might be on the docket this weekend. Gin, of course. Also, don’t sleep on a little jazz when you’re just kicking back. Especially stuff like this that uses more guitar than anything.

Again, be sure to drop your suggestions in the comments or on Twitter @TFM_Karl for a chance to be featured on future editions. As always, don’t drink in drive.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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