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Idiot Pitt Student Tries Jumping Between Buildings To Impress Girl, Gets Stuck For 4 Hours

Pitt Kid

Early this morning, along a busy thoroughfare in the Oakland neighborhood of Pittsburgh, University of Pittsburgh student Grant Birdsong decided to take a girl to the roof of a Qdoba and show off his hops by leaping the gap between buildings to the bagel shop next door.

Except the aspiring hurdler didn’t quite clear the two-foot chasm and took a two-story plunge, where he remained stuck between the restaurants for four hours.

From The Pitt News:

In an attempt to impress a woman he’d met earlier that night, [Birdsong] got wedged between Qdoba and Bruegger’s Bagels, where he stayed for four hours.

“He didn’t quite achieve his goal. He missed and fell in between the buildings,” Pittsburgh Police Spokesperson Sonya Toler said.

The man was stuck in a 16 inch wide gap, three stories high for about 4 hours. Police and rescue paramedics arrived around 2 a.m. and did not leave until 6 a.m.

I’ll admit there’s at least a six-foot drop-off between Qdoba and Bruegger’s, but how this kid couldn’t clear a two-foot crevice is anyone’s guess. My shoes wouldn’t fit in that gap.

With his ass wedged between the buildings three stories down, dropping a basket to pull him out like he was some little kitten who fell down a well wasn’t really feasible. According to The Pitt News, the Pittsburgh Public safety department “had to drill holes in three walls of the buildings, two of which were in Qdoba and one in the neighboring building.”

Check out the carnage:

These are old, early twentieth century buildings, mind you. The city had to bring their big boy tools to get this moron out of the wall, too, So this was an ordeal that shut down a main stretch of Forbes Ave. overnight and diverted some rush hour traffic.

At least the Bruegger’s staff was amused:

He was taken to the hospital and treated for a broken ankle, which should hopefully keep him off Oakland roofs for awhile.

Remember, guys, when your risk manager insists that getting drunk and taking a girl to the roof is a bad idea, think about Grant Birdsong. When you see a small gap between houses and insist you can clear it, think of Grant Birdsong.

Stay off the roof. Stick to porch drinking.

[via The Pitt News]

Image via Twitter/@PghPublicSafety

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Kramer Smash

Unabashed Pitt alum with an affinity for brown girls and Manhattans. Send lovelies to kraysmash@gmail.com

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