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Tyler Freimuth, a 21-year-old Indiana University student, was arrested Wednesday morning for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. Not much of a story at first glance — college kid is drunk and hungry, decides to make a late night run for a cheesy Gordita Crunch, and gets popped for DWI. We’ve heard this song and done this dance countless times, Dan. What makes this slapdick, Tyler, so special? It’s all in the details, my friends.
From Fox 59:
Officers asked Tyler Freimuth, 21, what he was doing.
“Looking for extra large dryer sheets,” Freimuth responded, according to police.
Freimuth confirmed that it was his unoccupied Jeep Patriot in the Taco Bell drive-thru, but he told police he wasn’t sure how it got there. He said he was waiting for his friends who were inside, but the business was closed.
A witness told police Freimuth was in the Jeep and appeared to be asleep. As the witness approached, Freimuth allegedly stumbled out of the vehicle and proceeded to urinate on it.
First off, look at that mugshot and try not to at least crack a slight smirk. That’s the kind of face only a Doritos Locos taco could love. If you were to ask me before this story to sketch my idea of what a guy that would pass out at a Taco Bell drive-thru at three in the morning on a Wednesday looks like, my drawing would be identical to this kid all the way down to the mild acne. This was more fate than lapse in judgement.
The “Extra large dryer sheets” comment was next level, too.
How can I throw off the cops? I’ll just say something completely out of left field that has nothing to do with Taco Bell. That way they couldn’t possible think that’s my Jeep. Think, Tyler. Think. Burrito? No. Fire Sauce? Dead give away. Away? My roommate just moved away. Back home. Home. I go home every other weekend so Mom can do my laundry. Laundry? Dryer. Those sheets always make my clothes smell so…
“Sir, we’re going to ask again. What are you doing here?”
“Dryer sheets. I was looking for…err…extra large dryer sheets.”
How the cops were able to deal with that nasty 12-6 curveball, I’ll never know. .
[via FOX 59]