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Iowa State Philosophy Professor Arrested For Being Super Hammered During Class

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I can’t think of anything more boring than having to go to some bullshit philosophy lecture with only a couple of weeks left until winter break. Trekking through the cold only to listen to some pretentious professor explain how and why everything is the way it is? That really does sound awful. But for students at Iowa State University, attending class on Thursday turned out to be well worth it.

From Iowa State Daily:

Iowa State police arrested a lecturer for public intoxication after receiving an anonymous call that he was slurring his words during class at 10:20 a.m., according to Police Chief Michael Newton.

Gordon Knight, 56, a lecturer in philosophy and religious studies, was arrested and charged with public intoxication second offense just before 11 a.m. Knight also plead guilty to his first offense in November 2016.

Professor rambling on about the universe? Yawn. Professor rambling on about the universe while shitfaced drunk? Well worth the price of admission. Professor rambling on while shitfaced drunk only to have some classmate snitch and get him arrested in front of the whole class? That’s the type of life-changing event that will have you never missing another class ever again.

I don’t normally advocate for snitching, but in this particular case, whoever that little tattletale is deserves a prize. Not only is class probably canceled for the remainder of the semester, but now the university pretty much has to give everyone As. That is, if they don’t want all of the students causing an uproar over the whole incident.

Current and former students alike took to social media to express their feelings about the affair.

So it turns out that not only was this Professor Knight’s second public intox, but he has had other offenses on his record as well. Two years ago, he was booked on something called “criminal mischief,” whatever that means. Not exactly the type of guy you’d love to see molding young minds.

I just can’t wait for the video to come out of this guy stumbling around slurring his way through class. You know it has to be out there somewhere. The first thing any college student does when things start to go south is hit record. In fact, if there are any Iowa State students out there who were present during this class (or maybe you just happen to have obtained a video from someone who was), do us all a favor and send that sucker into to spread some joy into the world.

[via Iowa State Daily]

Image via Story County Jail

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Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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