Am I angry that Jim Harbaugh’s Michigan Wolverines defeated my beloved Badge this past weekend despite the fact that I had a very vivid dream last Wednesday (involving both a man with a leaf blower jetpack and toilet paper at a Monday Night RAW wrestling event) wherein I learned that the score of the Wisconsin-Michigan game would be 30-13 Wisconsin (listen to me recount the full dream here (click “Moms Drink for Free” and skip ahead to 30:25)? No.
I’m not, because I didn’t want to be able to tell the future anyways. Being psychic is overrated. Not only does it take all the surprise out of life; it’s also a lot of work. You need to come up with your own catchphrase (think That’s So Raven‘s “Oh, snap!”), you need to always be on call to intervene when you know something bad’s going to happen, and apparently you also risk Orlando Brown going into vivid detail about your boobs.
Besides — we didn’t beat Michigan, but we did beat the spread. It’s the little things.
He may have just beaten the 8th ranked team in America, but even that wasn’t enough to make Harbaugh feel like a bigger man than fellow Big Ten powerhouse coach Urban Meyer. Allegedly Meyer hitting 1 million Twitter followers didn’t sit well with Jim, and he took swift measures to bridge the gap.
Who knows if Jim buying Twitter followers to match Urban is actually true, but I choose to believe it because it sounds like such a Harbaugh thing to do. The only way this story could be more Harbaugh is if Jim flew to China and had a sleepover with whatever “BUY TWITTER FOLLOWERS NOW” guy he used ahead of his eventual purchase.
Jim will have a direct shot at Urban soon enough — Michigan faces off against Ohio State on November 26 in the Horseshoe. The winner will go on to face the Wisconsin Badgers in the Big Ten Championship Game. Don’t need to be psychic to know that one..
Image via YouTube