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Jim Nantz Is A Psychopath

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Jim Nantz may be one of the best announcers in all of sports. There’s just something soothing about the sound of his voice, especially when it comes to his annual coverage of the Masters. Seriously, listen to this…

Just gives me goosebumps listening to that. While he may be able to bring a grown man like myself to tears with his pipes, it doesn’t mean he’s exempt from being a goddamn psychopath. You may be wondering where these type of accusations come from. In a recent interview with Golf Digest, Jim sat down to talk about everything from golf to his choice in breakfast.

I’m a breakfast guy: three eggs scrambled, with bacon and wheat toast, burnt. The problem is, it never came back burnt. For years it would arrive limp and tan, which brought breakfast to a standstill when I sent the toast back. It was costing me 10 minutes a day, which, multiplied by six days a week, is four hours a month. That’s 48 hours—two full days—per year. My friends, time is currency. My wife, Courtney, got tired of hearing me complain about it. She found a photograph on the Internet of a kitchen toaster ejecting two slices of burnt toast. She minimized it, printed it out and had it laminated. She insisted I put it in my wallet. When I order, I present the photo to my server. I get some strange looks, but I can assure you, the toast now arrives black and scary, just the way I like it

You’re not getting strange looks because you’re presenting a server with a picture of burnt toast. You’re getting strange looks because you order burnt toast in the first place. I’m not just talking about a light burnt, we’re talking full-on, blacker than night burnt toast.

Jim did have this to say about who he thinks will win the 2016 Masters, though:

Phil won in 2004. He won two years later, in 2006. Four later, in 2010, he won again. Now it’s 2016, six years later. Two … four … six. If the Nantz Law of Mathematical Progression follows, 2016 will again be Phil’s year.

A guy crazy enough to create his own law of mathematical progression and eat burnt toast might just be crazy enough to predict the winner. All in on Phil to win it.

[via Golf Digest]

Image via YouTube

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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