Vice President Joe Biden has never been known to mince words, in large part because it’s still not wholly apparent whether or not he can actually hear the words coming out of his mouth, or that he knows what words like “mince” mean. Most of the time this results in some fantastic quotes, though they’re usually more entertaining than anything. Take, for example, Biden’s stance on gun control during the 2008 presidential campaign.
I like to imagine that after hearing that quote at least three Obama staffers suffered concussions from slapping themselves in the forehead too hard. Joe Biden is the type of uncle who finds out his nephew is gay, and supports him, but in the least sensitive way possible. “Hell I don’t mind queers. Good people, the queers. My barber’s a poof and he was boxing champion on his destroyer in the Navy. Good gay, er, guy. Well, both. Ha!” Joe Biden is the sort of old guy who refills his Viagra prescription with a giant smile and an elbow nudge to the uncomfortable girl working the pharmacy window.
Essentially, Joe Biden is going to say and do whatever Joe Biden wants, and thankfully, for once, it sounded totally fucking badass. That would be Biden’s take on ISIS in the wake of the filmed, barbaric beheadings of two kidnapped American journalists.
Here’s the transcript:
“The American people are so much stronger, so much more resolved than any enemy can fully understand,” Biden said. “As a nation we are united and when people harm Americans we don’t retreat, we don’t forget. We take care of those who are grieving and when that’s finished, they should know we will follow them to the gates of hell until they are brought to justice because hell is where they will reside.”
DRUNK UNCLE! ENGAGE!
But seriously, fuckin’ A, Joe.
The only downside is that this isn’t the first time Biden has dropped the whole “gates of hell” guarantee. He did the same thing in the Vice Presidential Debate against Paul Ryan in 2012 when discussing Benghazi.
To be fair, the “gates of hell” remark was more in reference to the administration’s effort to track down and kill Osama Bin Laden, and I guess Biden isn’t totally off base here, because I can’t imagine Pakistan being too far off from what the gates of hell look like. So maybe we’re going back into Iraq, then? ISIS is certainly doing its best in northern Iraq and Syria to match that resemblance as well. Hopefully the U.S. can lend them a hand by adding some fire and brimstone.