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Sports gambling can either be really fun or really miserable. Some days you’re on a heater, and others you wish that you’d have just sat your happy ass down and kept your money. Some days you pick a favorite and they get the job done like professionals should, while others the underdog comes roaring back to hit the back door cover late.
Depending on which side you chose, the ending of the Monday Night Football game between the Washington Redskins and the Kansas City Chiefs surely elicited one of these reactions. You were either experiencing the euphoria of one of the greatest back door covers in recent history, or lamenting the most impossible of defeats.
Allow me to paint the picture: the line is set at Kansas City -7, with an over/under of 48 (shouts to MyBookie.ag for the lines). With three seconds remaining, Washington is down 20-23 — that’s a total of 43 for all you mathematicians out there. The Redskins decide to do a good, old-fashioned desperation lateral play, except they suck at it and fumble. KC linebacker Justin Houston scoops up the ball and, instead of hitting the deck to end the game like a smart football player would, he scores it like a showboating asshole.
Fuck, more math. It’s now 20-29 Chiefs — that’s a nine-point difference. Nine is greater than seven, therefore degenerate gambling assholes who thought the Redskins were legit enough to cover a seven-point spread are left in turmoil to lament their selection. In the span of three seconds, their winnings were ripped from their miserable, greedy, dumb hands. Take it a step further, and say that these same idiots thought there was no chance this game went over 48 points. 29+20=49. In that case, they are now doubly dicked.
I’m not going to go on a rant about how every fifth grader in America can play the lateral game on the playground without dropping the ball, and how every football player with a brain knows that you just fall on the fumble to end the game so as to not risk any catastrophe.
I’m not going to go there, because how I personally bet on this game should not influence my editorial integrity. Instead, I’m just going to leave you with this: don’t gamble. No matter how much control you think you have, you don’t actually have any. The moment that you feel the most safe with your bet? That’s when you’re the most vulnerable. Shit can change at the drop of a hat. So just save yourself the heartache (and the money) and walk away because all that shit will weigh on your soul just as much as your pocketbook. .
If you’re in the market for a college football podcast that fucks, listen to Back Door Cover, our sports podcast for people who get weird and gamble. Subscribe here and listen to the latest episode below.
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