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Hot Reporter Quits Putin’s News Channel On The Air Because America

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I don’t want to be Russian to judgment here, because there’s only so much foreign affairs news I can be Putin up with in one day before I start Stalin with puns to hide the fact I don’t know anything about the Ukrainian crisis.

Dealing with the Ruskies getting fresh used to be so much easier. However, with Reagan no longer with us, the Wolverines presumably having gone their separate ways, and Rocky Balboa having three limbs in the grave, America needs new heroes to stand up to the vodka menace.

RT America anchor Liz Wahl abruptly resigned from her job while filming a live segment on Wednesday afternoon. “I cannot be a part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of Putin,” she said. “I’m proud to be an American and believe in disseminating the truth. And that is why, after this newscast, I am resigning.”

Good stuff, Lizzy. Not sure what inspired you to get in bed with the Soviets in the first place, but I’m willing to overlook your treason with this nice little, “Whatever, Russia” gesture.

[via Gawker]

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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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