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The MLB can do what it wants when it comes to telling veterans how to haze their rookies. Dressing up as a woman hurts for a day, but getting a massive dinner bill dropped on you hurts the bank account much, much longer. That’s why NFL players have the best rookie hazing traditions around.
On Monday, Houston Texans rookie safety KJ Dillon took his veterans out for a nice dinner, one that he probably regrets going on after they racked up a $16,000-plus tab.
Yes, that’s a lot of Hennessy (I’ll come back to that in a moment), but who the hell are the two boners who ordered the macaroni pasta for $7.95?! You realize you’re at a classy restaurant and the rookie is paying for everything, correct? Anything under $20 better be a goddamn side item and even that’s pushing it.
Looking at the receipt, many quality choices: broiled Atlantic salmon, filet mignon, bacon-wrapped scallops. Veteran mindset on and off the field. However, I hope to sweet baby Jesus (happy early birthday, my guy) that the Hennessy Pardis Imperial shots came with after-dinner sex or something. I love liquor as much as the next guy, but for $350 a pop, that shit better make me cum and cum hard.
Dillon, currently on IR, is in the first year of a four-year, $2.5 million deal since getting drafted in the fifth round out of West Virginia. He’s definitely not poor, but definitely not the highest-paid NFL athlete, so this meal took a toll especially since contract years don’t mean jack shit in the NFL.
Dillon’s 2016 base salary is $450,000. This bill equates to 3.6% of his annual salary. In other terms, this bill is the equivalent of $1,806 to a person earning 50k. Yikes..