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Lawrence Police Have A PSA For All You College Fucks As We Head Into Darty Season

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What’s the best time of year for a college student? Is it fall tailgating? St. Paddy’s Day? Beachin’ it over the summertime? I can’t give a definitive answer, but I do know one thing for sure: The area between the end of final exams and the start of your summer internship has to be up there. It’s the peak of darty season, where nobody has anything better to do other than throw on a retro basketball jersey and drink.

The police at the University of Kansas aren’t naive to this fact. And in what has become a hallmark of their station, they took to Twitter to give us all a few reminders.

If you are at the point where you have to give the officer your ID, you’re probably dead in the water anyway. Just walk by with confidence and give him a gentleman’s nod. No way he stops you if you do that.

Ha, joke’s on you, officer. I’m wearing Sperrys, NOT flip flops, and that was Tanner who had the incorrect take on pale ale.

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I hate this because it implies that my car would have anything of value in it. Way to throw my financial ineptitudes in my face, sir. Unless the burglar is looking for a McMuffin wrapper or a scratched Aaron Carter CD that I somehow still have from when I was seven, then I think he’s out of luck.

Nothing to add here. Don’t drive drunk. Seriously, don’t.

Jail is a bad place, kids. One minute you’re a drunken sailer enjoying a carefree lifestyle, and the next thing you know you are being lined up for a mugshot that will be on the internet FOREVER. If you don’t believe me, just ask our friend, Ross.

Take the advice. Don’t act like an idiot. It’s not worth it.

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Dent

Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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