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Lehigh Fraternity Sketchball Will Fucking Cut You With A Straight Razor If You Try To Throw Down

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A Lehigh University sophomore has been charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, and possession of an instrument of crime and harassment after cutting a six-inch gash in the leg of a rival fraternity member during a physical altercation early Saturday morning.

Nicolas Sarano, a mechanical engineering major who a tipster informed us is associated with Phi Kappa Theta, whipped out a wood-handled straight razor that he had been carrying around all night — as you typically do — during a dispute with Theta Chi brother Liam Walsh.

After Sweeney Todding Walsh’s leg, Sarano then ran back to campus where he tried to “clear his head” before turning himself in following an email from campus PD about the assault. He claims that Walsh was the aggressor, but Police Chief Mark DiLuzio said there is no evidence supporting that claim or that Walsh committed any crime during the incident. Sarano’s bail was set for $35,000 with a 10 percent option.

The thing you learn as you get older is to pick your battles better. One glance at this kid and you should have known he was trouble, Liam. He has that scrappy son of a bitch who fights by his own rules look about him. Of course he’s carrying around a straight razor at all times. He’s just looking for one reason to slice that leg of yours like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. You stay away from that type of madman at all costs. I don’t care how big of a swinging dick you think you are — put that pride of yours in check, because you never clash with crazy.

[via The Morning Call]

Image via NORTHAMPTON COUNTY PRISON

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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