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Leonardo DiCaprio has been on a tour de force lately. He’s gallivanting around Hollywood, basically living his life as the real world version of Jay Gatsby–you know, without the accidental homicide and tragic plot about coming from no money. Justin Bieber, on the other hand, has become the world’s largest Voltron of Douche. If one were to rank him on a douchiness scale, he might just set the upper limit. The two of them happened to be at the same club in France the other night, and it ended with the Biebs getting burned so hard that some French bystanders probably mistook him for an overcooked, Canadian soufflé.
Bieber, who was running around the club, shirtless, like someone’s 5-year-old brother on a sugar high, decided to hit on anyone with a pulse and a vagina. It seems Leo had pretty much gotten the monopoly on this particular French club’s pussy, as if he were conquering the club in the name of America. Not surprising, though, for a guy who is known to have a pussy posse dedicated to bringing together attractive women for them to bang their way through.
Always one to try and ruin a good thing, Bieber sent one of his goons wading through the crowd to find Leo’s VIP area to ask if Bieber could join him in there. Is nothing sacred to him? Bieber attracts the kind of girls who require you to lock your doors and install a security system after a breakup. There’s no way anyone would expect Leo to want him around, which he didn’t. Leo’s response?
“Leo just shook his head no and waved him off,” a witness tattles. “He thinks Justin’s a little twit. Leo doesn’t want or need photo ops with publicity-hungry, manufactured pop stars.”
I’d say Leo threw down the gauntlet there, but I don’t think he even felt like Bieber deserved such distinction. It’s more like he waved off an annoying gnat or decided to go a man down in intramurals because the only kid left was the guy jumping up and down yelling “Pick me!” in an annoyingly pre-pubescent squeak.
Leo’s night most likely went on to end like this:
While Bieber’s likely ended in this fashion:
There is some measure of justice in the universe.
Image via YouTube