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Let’s Not Hold The Current UCLA Pi Kappa Phi Chapter Responsible For Its Dopey 2013 Chapter Minutes

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Pi Kapp at UCLA is in some hot water after a student government official released minutes from the fraternity’s 2013 chapter meetings. Many are going to point out that a few of the bullet points on the documents are misogynistic or racially insensitive.

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Yawn. Sorry, but this just isn’t moving the needle for me anymore. Not to mention the current Pi Kapp chapter is completely different than it was three years ago. Trust me. As a guy that graduated in 2013 and has since gone back to his own fraternity, it’s fucking night and day. Familiar faces are few and far between.

But since this is apparently an issue at UCLA right now, I decided to actually dig into the minutes and found things that the chapter should answer for.

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Now this is grounds for removal. Downright indefensible. Under no circumstance should any self-respecting man be this excited for Macklemore.

Someone be friends with Coleman before he jumps off a bridge.

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Hey guys, maybe if you had a little edge and stopped referring to the competition as “Chill” you’d win a damn intramural game. Marshmallow soft.

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Tabling a bylaw to the spring when it’s week 1 of the fall semester? Solid bounce back.

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Really need to clarify that the sea slug does indeed shed his penis, but that another grows back within a day.

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Be chivalrous, guys. Leave the TP for the ladies.

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No mention of what to do with your legs or point of entry? It’s all about as little splash as possible.

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Styrofoam cups? Low-tier trash move. I change my previous statements. Nationals should revoke your charter now and blackball all of you squids.

[via Daily Bruin]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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