What a day to be alive, guys. Palcohol, the alcoholic powder, is officially legal in the United States of America. You may remember it being briefly legalized last April before the government said it done goofed and provided the approval labels by error. Shocking that the government would ever make an error. That all changed yesterday.
A controversial powdered alcohol product called Palcohol, intended to be mixed into drinks, has gained approval from a federal agency.
On Wednesday, bureau spokesman Tom Hogue told The Associated Press the issues were resolved and that four varieties of Palcohol were approved. But Hogue noted that states can also regulate alcohol sales in their borders.
I’m sorry for the folks in Colorado, Alaska, Delaware, Michigan, Louisiana, South Carolina, and Vermont, because Palcohol is banned in those states. Some of the backlash the product has gotten is:
1. Some folks think it’ll be abused by minors. As if they don’t already abuse drugs and alcohol as it is.
2. The flavors will be appealing to small children. Yeah, I’m sure that the flavored alcohols aren’t already appealing to them.
3. It’ll be easy to sneak into public places. It’s already as easy as a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend.
To all those naysayers, I say get on board or get the fuck out. No one was complaining about overdosing on electrolytes when Gatorade started selling the powdered stuff. It’s essentially the same concept: mix with water and drink. Think of the practicality here. It’s now going to be so much easier to lug tons upon tons of alcohol to the next tailgate. Waiting in line for a drink at the bar? Not anymore, just head to the bathroom for a quick bump.
The only thing we can hope for is that it comes with the Fun Dip sticks..
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