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Little Man Mark Zuckerberg Used A Booster Seat To Look Big In Front Of Congress

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Ever since information has come out about Facebook letting all of our personal data be leaked to an unwanted third party, mega-nerd Mark Zuckerberg has been feeling the heat. People simply want to know how he could have let something like this happen. How can a website that only requires an email to create an account be hacked?

Well Tuesday was finally the day for Zuckerberg to pay the piper as he testified about the incident in front of congress. In an interesting maeuver, instead of going with the typical “watch me type all this code” version of himself, the Zuckmeister went with a different approach. He decided to go with the confident “I’ve got it all figured out” look. To accomplish this, all he needed was a suit and a little bit of a boost to his typical 5-foot-7 frame.

Kind of hilarious how the power of social media is what is being used to embarrass one of the (alleged) inventors of it (I’m still team Winklevoss). Doesn’t Mark Zuckerberg, of all people, realize that anything he does in public can and will be posted online? He had to know that we were going to catch on to this half-ass ploy to appear more respectable, right? What was the endgame here?

Lose the booster seat, little man. Nobody is concerned with how short you are. One would think that billions of dollars would be enough for this guy to get over his Napoleonic complex. Personally, all I really care about is being able to obsess over my ex-girlfriend’s photos in the privacy of my own home without someone stealing my info. Let me click through this “Seniorrr Year, Bitchez” album without Russian intervention. That’s all I ask.

So focus a little bit less on yourself, and a little bit more on helping me browse in a secure environment. Thanks, dude.

Image via Twitter/ Kaivan Shroff

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Dent

Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

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