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Everyone just stay cool. We’ll all be okay. Yoga pants clothing maker, Lululemon, shipped a faulty batch of yoga pants earlier in March that were apparently a little revealing, and damn near see-through when stretched over taut little lower halves all over the country. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my yoga pants to leave little to the imagination, while still providing maximum coverage. Give me everything or give me something, that’s my motto.
Lululemon released a statement regarding the sheerness of their butt-hugging yoga pants:
“We have determined that certain shipments of product received from our factories and available in store from March 1, 2013 do not meet our technical specifications. The items affected are certain styles of women’s bottoms in our signature black Luon fabric. The ingredients, weight and longevity qualities of the pants remain the same but the coverage does not, resulting in a level of sheerness in some of our women’s black Luon bottoms that falls short of our very high standards.
Over the past weekend we pulled all of the affected black Luon women’s bottoms from our stores, showrooms and e-commerce site and are working with our supplier to replace the fabric and our other manufacturers to replace these key items as quickly as possible. We believe the affected items represented approximately 17% of all women’s bottoms in our stores and for the near term there will be a shortage of these styles available to our guests.”
We’ll let you off with a warning this time, Lululemon. Yoga pants are a sacred American institution not to be bastardized by defective fabric and lax manufacturing practices. Mishaps like this do not happen to butt-huggers. You just showed 17% of your customers asses to the public without them knowing. Hopefully, these customers’ asses were tight like a tiger and not lumpy cottage cheese asses. Our thoughts go out to all those affected in the latter cases.
Here’s to hoping this yoga pant shortage will not bend the will of ass-gazing American men everywhere. Our thoughts go out to the young women affected by this disaster and pray that they do not rethink their next yoga pants purchase.
[via Wall Street Journal]