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Mailbag: Getting Friendzoned While Blackout Drunk, Starting A New Fraternity, Being Shamed For The Beer You Drink

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Mailbag by visiting the archive.

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Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to wescp4441@gmail.com. No topics are off limits.

Sup

I got myself into a jam and I could use some advice. I’ve been friends with this girl for maybe a year or so. Nothing especially romantic, just a part of the group. The problem started on spring break when we all planned a cliché beach trip and she brought her older sister along. Her sister and I really hit it off all week and have been out since. Needless to say my friend isn’t exactly pleased with the arrangement. Her sister and I have a really good thing going and I have no intention of breaking it off any time soon, but she is a good friend and I’d hate to see this hurt the friendship and potentially affect my relationship with her sister. How should I handle it?

Here’s the thing: Even if you go ahead and break it off with the older sister, your friend will still be pissed that it ever happened. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so you might as well double down. Who the fuck is she to get in the way of true love?

If you go out and ask a hundred couples how they met each other, I bet at least half of them will say something along the lines of “I met (significant other) through a mutual friend.” That’s how things happen in this world. Either this girl is going to get over the fact that you’re routinely plowing her sister, or she’s going to harbor it forever and lash out at you at family events for the rest of your life. Plan for the latter.

Hey Wes,

I’m a 21 year old Junior in college and I got drunker than I have ever been before this weekend and ended up texting the girl I had been dating until I got friend zoned. Apparently I said some questionable things, the problem is I don’t remember ever doing this even though I remember the rest of the night. I’m concerned it may have been my friends trying to get me from talking to her more but I’m not sure. Help?

Unless you said some really questionable stuff, you basically just rushed the process of figuring out where this is going to go. If she was actually into you and wanted something long-term, she probably would’ve brushed the whole thing off. Sure, you got friendzoned, but at least you weren’t sober when it happened. Most aren’t so lucky.

Hey Wes,

Long time first time whatever fuck you.

In all seriousness I need some quick advice. In the past 2 semester I’ve declined bids from a couple of different houses because I didn’t gel with the guys that well. As a result, I’ve put serious thought into re-colonizing a chapter on my campus. I’ve gotten a few guys interested and have been in contact with nationals but I’m not sure yet if I want to go through with it.

Thoughts?

You’re about to get one hell of a crash course in PR. When you’re colonizing, your house is basically always on the brink of no longer existing, and one false move can put you away for good. If you don’t do a solid job of establishing how everything is going to work, you’ll find that the house dies off after a few years.

You need the right kind of people to found this thing with you. Choose people who won’t flake at the first sign of trouble. A more established chapter can get by with a few guys who aren’t all-in, but not one that’s in the early stages. If you’re okay with eating, sleeping, and breathing all things about your chapter for the next several years, you just might be ready for the challenge ahead of you. Best of luck.

Hey Wesley Snipes,

What’s your opinion on drinking the new Bud Light Orange? Is it social suicide for a guy just like drinking Bud Light Lime? It sounds good but I don’t wanna be ridiculed by my friends for the rest of my life.

Thanks

You should grow some self-esteem, my dude. Do you think that when you and your friends are pushing 60 years old, they’ll still be ribbing you about the time you drank a specific type of beer? You just need to be thankful you have friends in the first place. Drink whatever you want, and try to be less of a loser about it.

Remember to send any and all questions you have to wescp4441@gmail.com.

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WJ Cope

He's the real reason people say "No one likes you when you're 23."

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