Mailbag: Girls, Transferring Schools, And Dad Bods

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dad bod tfm mailbag

Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to No topics are off limits.


So at a lot of college parties I’m always really shit at flirting with girls and hooking up with them, even when I’m drunk, to be honest I don’t really even know what to say when I approach them, how do I approach a girl and end up hooking up with them correctly?


Woah there, tiger. Sounds like you’re a bit too focused on the endgame of these little encounters. Before you even think about “hooking up” “correctly” (Jesus), you’ll have to get your approach down. It’s not rocket science, but you’ve got to stand tall and be confident if you want a girl to pay any attention to you. You don’t need to try and be stealthy or make it seem like you just happened to bump into her. You’re making a move because you’re interested, so act like it. Open with something like “Hi, my name is _____. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

As for being drunk, alcohol can actually work against you here. A shot or two to loosen you up can’t hurt, but being really drunk will just make you even more clunky and awkward than you already are. Next time, try two shots of good bourbon and maybe a beer or two.

I need some mediocre advice.

This girl and I have talked on and off on multiple occasions, and I’m interested in her but unless there is another girl in the picture she doesn’t seem interested. Her sisters tell me she’s hella interested but just kind of shy, how do I go about making this honey mine or should I just drop her?

She’s hella interested, brah? Look, there are plenty of great girls at Chico State, so I wouldn’t sweat it if this thing doesn’t work out.

In all seriousness, you have no excuse not to go for it if you feel like she’s worth the effort. The problem seems to be that you’re getting weak signals from her, but maybe you’re not making it clear enough that you’re interested. I know it’s easy to play it cool and just talk to her about normal, day-to-day stuff, but it looks like you’re going to have to be the one to make a definitive move. Whatever you do, make sure to leave no doubt that you’re interested and you want her. As my boy Dillon Cheverere has (allegedly) been saying, 2018 is the year of shooting your shot.

Need your help.

I’ve been working on my Associate’s degree from a small community college near my hometown for about a year now, and my plan is to transfer to a state school, join Greek life, the whole nine yards. By the time I transfer, I’ll be pretty close to my 21st birthday. Is that too old to do what I’m doing? Not just the fraternity, but going to a bigger school in general. I kind of feel like it just won’t be the same as if I’d gone straight into it at 18.

No man, you need to go through with this. Don’t feel like you’ve missed out on anything. Sure, you won’t get the full four-year experience, but lots of people don’t. Just be thankful for the two years you do get, as they should be pretty incredible. Same for rushing a fraternity. You’ll be surprised at how many people join at age 19, 20, 21, etc., and there’s no good reason not to.


I need some help as soon as possible. I was always an athletic guy in high school, and I ate right and played three sports. Since I got to college, though, I’ve been putting on some weight. I don’t know whether it’s the drinking, late-night food, or what, but I’m not trying to have a fucking dad bod by sophomore year. Help a brother out.

Listen, fatty, it seems that you’re trying to narrow your weight increase down to just one factor. The thing is, ALL of those factors are chipping in a little bit to make you more doughy and out of breath. I get that you’re probably swamped and can’t hit the gym as regularly as you want to, but that’s still not an excuse. Good health is mostly diet, and you can’t be eating a ton of shit that you know you shouldn’t be.

Before a party, load up on as many good fats, proteins, and carbs as you can. Potatoes, rice, beans, that kind of stuff. If you’re filled up on somewhat decent food before you go out, you’ll have a much lower chance of getting really hungry later in the night when you’re wasted. Alternately, maybe try to have a good meal prepared that you know you can come home and throw in the microwave. As for your drinking, stick to light beers and vodka or gin shots. Nobody thinks you’re cultured when you come into a party with a six-pack of Shock Top anyway, so no need to fill up on beers that are over 100 calories a pop.

By the way, it’s so sick that you played three sports in high school! Good job 🙂

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WJ Cope

He's the real reason people say "No one likes you when you're 23."

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