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Mailbag: My Friend Is Dating A Cold-Hearted Bitch, How Do I Help Him?

This is a recurring TFM series. Catch up with all installments of Mailbag by visiting the archive.

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Mailbag- My Friend Is Dating A Cold-Hearted Bitch, How Do I Help Him?

Some people just flat suck when they enter into a relationship. Their life is suddenly in the hands of some minx whose sole goal is to trick your buddy into becoming her slave. Anything she says, he does. Anytime she complains or argues, he apologizes, even when he’s done nothing wrong. Every group of friends has one. You might even be that guy reading this right now.

In my first ever Mailbag, we hear from Steve, who wants to help his friend stop being a gigantic pussy.

So I feel like this issue is relevant to a lot of guys. We all know that women have mind bending, dick raising powers that man has yet to decipher. But it has just gone too far. I have a good friend who is a super cool dude, I’ve known him forever. However last year he started dating a girl that I know and I was really excited for him because he had never really taken a big chance at a girl, and she seemed like a good match for him. Although she’s a 6.5 on a good day and he was a little out of her league it didn’t matter.

Fast forward one year later and it’s out of control. All of my friends (excluding him of course) have come to the conclusion that she is an EXTREME BTICH. She’s rude and demanding and just overall awful. To make it even worse they’ve become THAT couple. I have a class with them and I swear they will literally cuddle during a lecture and he’ll rub her back and just generally pitiful things to watch. I would not be surprised to walk into class and actually see them fucking one day. By far the worst part of it is that he is totally the bitch of the couple and will give into anything she says and apologize for anything. It pains me to see a bro stoop low like that. How do I pull my bro from the depths of whipped without telling him to flat out break up with her? (Which obviously won’t happen)



Well, Steve. Luckily you came to the right place. As a former pledge educator, I’m basically a pro at shaping men from boy to man in a short matter of time. So your boy is in good hands here and can easily take back the reigns in his life.

As it is well known, there is a the universal crazy-hot scale, meaning that guys will generally put up with more crazy as the girl’s level of attractiveness increases. From the sounds of it, this girl has landed squarely on the side of crazy that doesn’t match her looks. She has your friend by his balls with a tight grip and he seems to be okay with that. What we have here is an extreme case of being a pushover.

Let me tell you a little about one of my own success stories when I was in charge of PC ’08. We had one pledge, we’ll call him Kenny, who started college still dating his high school girlfriend, who went to school halfway across the country. She was his boss. His master. Anything he did had to have her stamp of approval — which didn’t go over well with me. After using thorough conditioning, we got him to put his foot down and say enough is enough.

So here’s what you’re going to do, Steve. You’re going to sit your friend down, preferably tied down to the chair — can’t risk his fight or flight mentality to kick in. You’re going to tell him how shitty he has become as a friend. I mean just go nuclear on him with an onslaught of verbal beratement. Don’t hold back. You’re not going to attack his character, though. You’ve got to subtly throw shade at the girl. Make him realize that he’s changed for the worse, and it’s all because of some girl.

When he resists, and he will resist, you hit him with some negative feedback loops. These can be anything of your choosing. Take away his phone, rip ass in his face, cattle prod to the nips, a slap across the face, anything. It’ll be tough at first, but Pavlov didn’t get that dog to react to a bell off the first try, either. Sure, it may sound inhumane, but your friend is no longer a human. He is a cyborg who only listens to one person, and that person is his wench of a girlfriend. With enough repetition, anything is possible. He might even break up with her and you get your friend back.

Life’s too short to go through it constantly apologizing to women.

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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