Ever since the original Franchize Boy himself Ray Kroc realized that clogging one’s arteries was a process worth expediting, McDonald’s has easily become the most recognizable brand in the past 60 or so years. Whether it’s a soccer mom willing to feed her asshole kids basically anything to get them to shut up or a road-tripping family who’s really just looking for a place to shit, or a blue collar worker, pretty much every demographic under the sun has found its home under the Golden Arches.
And now, according to some pretty reputable-sounding sources called Green Market Report and Consumer Research Around Cannabis, Mickey D’s just went and snagged itself another highly sought after clientele: the pot smoker.
The online survey, which had 27,500 respondents, was conducted in 25 markets where marijuana has been legalized with a base population of 55 million. Some 8.5% of the survey respondents purchased cannabis from a legally authorized dispensary. In the past four weeks, 43% of those marijuana customers said they ate at McDonald’s. The second most popular place to eat was Taco Bell (18%) and Wendy’s came in third with 17.8%, just barely squeaking past Burger King at 17.6%. The (comparatively) healthy choice Subway placed fifth at 8.7%. Kentucky Fried Chicken hit the list at number six with 5.5%. The last [four] of the top ten were Arby’s, Chick-Fil-A, Jack-In-The-Box and Carl’s Jr. (in that order).
Now, if you know anything about the fast food industry (or if you just read the headline), you know that this is no bueno for Taco Bell. The pot smoker has been the lifeblood of T-Bell ever since the franchise realized that people will eat anything after they smoke enough weed, even if that thing happens to be dog meat wrapped in a tortilla.
But much like their motto suggests, the folks at Taco Bell excel at thinking outside of the box, which is what they’ll need to do if they want to be destination numero uno for stoners everywhere. And think outside the box they have.
Taco Bell seems to be covertly attempting to address its choice as number two with a recent partnership with the ride-sharing company Lyft. The new Taco Mode is only available in Orange County, California, where marijuana is legal. The chain has been known to be a favorite among the late-night cannabis crowd.
I’m 100% in on Taco Mode. What a concept. Taco Bell is going right after the lowest common denominator, and it’s a brilliant strategy. It’s already cornered the alcoholic market by recently announcing that it’ll be opening more than 300 Taco Bell Cantinas across the country. I’ve actually been to the one in Austin and slamming a couple Coronas after inhaling a Crunchwrap Supreme is extremely satisfying. The shits afterwards? Not so much.
You have to love T-Bell’s Vice City mindset, too. All that place needs is a Play Place that doubles as a late-night brothel, and Taco Bell will be the Las Vegas of the fast food industry..
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