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Men Overeat In Front Of Women To “Show Off,” Says Science

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Apparently, researchers have discovered a new tactic men use to impress women: Eating.

Men will, supposedly, overeat in front of women to show them how much of a man they are. No, that is not a hungry man you see chomping down a personal pepperoni pizza with his wife at Cici’s, that is a man trying to get laid. Nothing says “I want to fuck you” to a woman like eating eight straight slices of pizza and mixing in some brownies and soda on the side.

The study, performed at a pizza place near Cornell University, proves that men are much more likely to overeat when a lady is around.

From The Atlantic:

Researchers at Cornell University wanted to see if the reverse was true—if men’s eating habits would be different in front of women. So, naturally, they staked out an all-you-can-eat pizza place. There they watched people chow down on pizza and salad, then sneakily measured and subtracted their uneaten food out of view of the customers. It turns out that for men, “all they could eat” was more when they were eating with women than when they were eating with other men. Like, a lot more. We’re talking 93 percent more pizza and 86 percent more salad. (Which, at least they had some salad?)

“There is recent work that explores the possibility that eating spicy food might be a way that people ‘show off’ since it (arguably) signals a higher tolerance for something that others would consider painful,” he wrote to me in an email. “The new research article examines the question of whether overeating might function as a comparable kind of signal that a person is healthy enough that they can engage in unhealthful behavior of excessive eating (and still end up okay).”

Of course women love guys with a tolerance for spicy food. It shows both an appreciation for new, exotic things and an ability to destroy a toilet. Women want a man who can tolerate pain, since that’s what they plan to provide them for the rest of their lives.

No more fancy dinner dates. Grab your girl and head to the nearest buffet spot: Luby’s, Cici’s Pizza, Golden Corral. That’s the only GUARANTEED way to get laid. Sure, there isn’t tangible evidence that this strategy is successful, at all. But it’s worth a shot, right? It’ll only work a couple times, though, because soon you’ll be so fat you won’t even be able to find your own dick.

[via The Atlantic]

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