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Remember the Twitter user who pulled off the impossible last Super Bowl by scoring a date with tennis hottie Genie Bouchard thanks to the Patriots’ incredible comeback? Well, Mizzou student John Goehrke is back at it again, this time scoring another date with Bouchard and a pair of tickets to Super Bowl LII. The worst part? He didn’t even have to fucking try this time.
Poof. Just like that. Just chillin’ at home on a Monday night, getting ready to chow down on a Tide pod, for dinner and then BAM! The NFL Canada and Genie Bouchard slide into your mentions with Super Bowl tickets. You’ve got a better chance seeing the Kansas Jayhawks win a football game than you do having this happen. It’s straight poppycock.
A ticket to the Super Bowl averaged $9,000 a pop on Monday, by the way, just in case you wanted me to dash that hopeful, spontaneous part of you that was like, “Well, maybe if I just buy a ticket…”
In the end, you can only give it up to John. A true underdog story.
It’s really just further proof that shooters gotta shoot. So, here I go, I’ll take my shot: Hey, Paige VanZant. When Tom Brady’s thumb rots on his old, decomposing body and falls off in the third quarter of the Super Bowl, can I get a date, too? Lmk..
Image via Instagram/@geniebouchard