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My School Is Letting Campus Crazy People Call My Mother A Whore

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Since the semester started, religious groups have been campaigning on my campus 1-2 times a month. Not normal religious folks trying to recruit you to join the faith, no no no. The crazy: your normal “God Hates Fags” and “Adulterers Burn In Hell” type religious people.

Spouting bullshit that being gay is a sin and you will burn in the fiery pits of hell like the dirty sinner that you are. These people naturally draw a big crowd, and not a happy one. Students lashing back, girls kissing girls, guys kissing guys, and the crowd goes wild while screaming at these cult people to get off campus. Followed by the ever so courageous walk-away middle finger. You also have your fair share of students planning a full out attack on the God Crew, which is exactly what they want so they can sue the school. No, dude, I’m not fighting this 40-year-old man. Sorry, boss.

When I see these gatherings, I typically hang around for a couple minutes to see if anything funny or interesting happens, which never does, so I leave and carry on with my typically mediocre day. But this next crew was different, way different. I watched for 50 minutes, the screaming and pointing and preaching. Oh man was it entertaining.

The God Crew was standing in front of the cafeteria, holding extremely aggressive and outlandish signs. They were openly berating students and their mothers. Stating wild accusations about mothers that are cringeworthy.

All being spoken by this man and his supporters. This is all 100% real, by the way.

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I have to say: That hat is a bold statement. It really gets the point across.

“Your mother is a whore, and she should have just swallowed you like the semen eater that she is.” Semen eater. Wow, that sounds absolutely gross.

“All women are lying whores that will take your money and leave you for a bigger truck.” Who did this man date in the past? Is a “bigger truck” a metaphor for something else?

In the face of a black student: “You are the reason black lives don’t matter.” Here I was watching this all go down and boom, this guy drops a nuke. I thought that was it, the tipping point. All hell would break loose and these people would meet God (or maybe not) very soon. But no, just more hurling of insults, all while holding their outrageous signs.

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What did The Pope do to get on this list? I thought they were Christian? Ankle biters are children. If the word “whore” is on your sign twice, why censor the word “masturbators”? So many questions. Why sissies? Money lovers? Porn Freaks is a great one. Witches, as if that is a real issue. Drunks, now you leave us alone and let us be. I’m legit on this list seven times.

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Hot take! This just, this cant be real. There is no way any logical person, let alone a woman, can think this. Maybe she can’t read and they just hand her signs?

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Not only did they feel the need to come and berate college students about their whorish mothers, but they brought their children along for the ride! These poor children probably have no idea why their parents are being shouted at and are probably horrified at what is going on around them.

This is disgusting, bringing your kids into a situation where they have no business being. Where you decide to set an example for your kids by shouting at people whom you have no idea the slightest clue about any part of their lives. All to strap them in the car and tell them the good deed you did today and how it is God’s work. You are the lowest level of scum and your children are going to see that one day. Also, peep the Feminists Are Whores sign.

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Wasn’t aware there was a war on anuses. They also referred to anal sex as rectal ripping. Fuck sake there is not a war on buttholes. At least one that I have heard about. Nothing wrong with some butt stuff. Peep the child in the background (who was holding one of these signs all day) who looks petrified as he stares at a sign about buttholes. He’s just a boy — poor little feller.

All this fun and games came to a halt when a kid no older than 16 looked me in the face and told me, “Your mother was a whore who didn’t spank you enough.” My mother, Mrs. Master Flex, is a saint, who also spanked me when I was disrespectful. You know nothing. I replied, “Yeah she did” with a smirk and a nod, as he threw his hands up in the air and was disgusted. “Not like that!” What a nerd. He should go on the stepmothers section of pornhu- wait, never mind. Against his religion.

These people made it way too easy for myself and others to make fun of them. The signs, what they were preaching, and using their kids in their agenda — just a complete package of insanity.

So I decided to go find their website and see what they are all about, you know besides calling people whores. The website doesn’t exist: www.christianinterviews.com. I’m serious try to find it.

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Grill Master Flex

Just your run of the mill go to barbecue guy

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