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National Signing Day: The Winners and Losers

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For college football enthusiasts the season doesn’t truly end until the first Wednesday of February. National Signing Day is exciting as balls for guys like us. We get a ground floor perspective of the guys that will be college football stars for the next several years. Some of us enjoy it more than others though. Take TFM’s own “Bacon” for example. This pile of fuck has been hooting and hollering all morning up and down the TFM Headquarters hallways about Mizzou landing the #1 player in the nation. I wonder if Bacon has seen what the rest of Missouri’s class looks like though. Don’t worry, I’ll fill him in.

I’ve been working my sources and pounding the pavement all day to bring you assholes some exclusive Signing Day coverage. Let’s check out National Signing Day’s winners and losers.



Sitting at the front of my “What the fuck else is new?” file we find the University of Alabama recruiting class. I’m tired of giving the Nicktator so much damn credit, but he keeps giving me every reason to. Saban raped the hopes and dreams of LSU in the title game, stole their top recruiting target in front of a national audience, and now they have locked up the top recruiting class in the country. Nice month for Saban and Bama fans.

I hope you’re not holding your breath waiting for Bama to suck any time soon. Spoiled assholes.


Southern California is still hindered by scolly limits handed down by the NCAA from the Reggie Bush fiasco. That’s not slowing down Coach Lane Kiffin, though. USC has secured the highest average star rating in the country at 4.07 per commitment. That’s just crazy talk. With the scholarship limits they have had to be more selective, and Kiff accomplished that. Job well done.

Kiffin is still a shady, devious, sly son of a bitch, but the man can flat recruit. With their bowl ban expiring after the 2011 season, look for USC to be back in the national picture in 2012.


Also dipping into LSU’s backyard (more on them later) is the Texas Longhorns. I don’t know how Mack spun back to back shitty to sub-par football seasons into back to back ridiculous recruiting classes, but the man is a recruiting boss. Austin, TX isn’t a tough sell either.

The headliner of this blue chip-laden class is running back Johnathan Gray, who accumulated something like 1,278 touchdowns in his high school career. Someone might have to check my math on that, but the point stands. The kid is electric. Mack is trying to get this program back to the top, and this 2012 class will be a vital piece to that journey.

Ohio State

Urban Meyer is wasting no time re-establishing himself as one of the best recruiters in the nation. A couple quick phone calls (most likely impermissible) landed him a couple 5-stars right after landing his new coaching gig.

Valuing and selling recruits on family environment, competition and winning while shunning honesty are just a few of Urban’s tactics, and he already has them working in Columbus. It’s not tough to predict that he’ll have Ohio State back in the national title hunt very soon.

Other winners: Florida State, Miami, Stanford, Michigan, Florida



Alabama not only whipped them in the natty, they apparently beat the Torshiro Davis out of them too. Davis, one of the region’s top DE prospects, switched his commitment from LSU to Texas today. LSU typically builds a proverbial wall around Louisiana when it comes to recruiting. Letting guys slip out of state is a rarity, and they let the top 4 in-state guys get away. One of those was Landon Collins, the #1 safety in the country. He chose Alabama live on ESPN in one of the most awkward TV moments you’ll see, as his mother was adamant in her preference for LSU.

Another oddity is that LSU didn’t sign a single kid from inside the Rivals top 100. That’s not something we’ve been used to seeing in recent years. All this happens after an SEC title and a title game appearance. Weird shit.


“Alright, Dorn clearly doesn’t follow recruiting. Mizzou just landed DGB!”

Yeah, but that’s it. The rest of their class is sitting somewhere between crap and shit. I had a chance to sit down with Bacon for a one-on-one exclusive just minutes ago to discuss the Tigers’ recruiting class.

RD: “Thoughts on Mizzou’s class?”

Bacon: “D-G-B!!!”

RD: “He’s going to be great, but what about the rest of the class?”

Bacon: “Dude, who cares? We got DGB!!!!!”

RD: “I mean you guys are in the SEC now. You’re going to need some studs all over the field to compete. You see any other guys stepping up from this class?”

Bacon: “D!!! G!!! B!!!”

RD: “Thanks for your time.”

Maybe it was the putrid Missouri rap video that’s been unfortunately tearing through the web, but to say Missouri’s class is top heavy would be quite an understatement. They signed Dorial Green-Beckham, one 4-star and a slew of threes and twos.


Crazy Bo Pelini hasn’t really taken off like Husker fans have expected. The move to the Big 10 was a hurdle he’d have to overcome, not just learning the ins and outs of his new foes, but with new recruiting territories. Their commitment list looks like it’s still stuck in the Big 12 North, not with the big boys of the Big 10.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when a recruiting target makes the “Thanks, but no thanks” phone call to Crazy Pelini. Although, I bet he just takes his frustration out on a pack of chewing gum.


“Honestly R.D., no one gives a shit about that liberal California school.”

I understand, and apparently the recruits stopped caring as well. Cal Berkeley was the talk of the Army All-American game recently when we saw an onslaught of 5-star prospects commit to them on national television. The recruiting high that all 35 of the Cal football fans felt was quickly pissed on when those same recruits de-committed when Cal lost a vital member of their coaching staff.

Competing with USC, Stanford and Oregon isn’t getting any easier for the Bears.

Other losers: Georgia, Arkansas, Oklahoma State, Penn State, Notre Dame

Note: Comments are based on the entirety of each program’s class, not just National Signing Day activity.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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