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New App Trains Men In Oral Sex, Is Pretty Disgusting

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Screen Shot 2014-03-06 at 2.13.21 PM is a website created to train mens’ (and lesbians’) tongues to be better at oral sex by licking their iPhone in a number of different mini games. Personally, I’m a selfish lover, but I can see how guys who can’t poke the bottom side of her lungs would need to do a little extra to wow a lady.

However, if you spend most of your shitting hours on your phone like I do, you immediately see the problem this presents. Phone screens are absolutely disgusting and covered in more germs than a public toilet seat according to a study published in the Journal of Applied Microbiology. Further, the study claimed that touching another person’s phone–with your fingers, mind you–is akin to sneezing directly into that person’s face.

Sure, you could use some sort of dental dam to lick your phone, but I’m not about to start wearing protection now. Unless you’re looking for yet another way to potentially catch a disease, I’d recommend you stick to your usual routine. Change is for liberals.

[via Elite Daily]

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I used to write for TFM and PGP when they were funny.

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