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New Hallucinogenic Drug Has Slightly Racist Name, Also Makes You Trip Balls And Die

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If my day-to-day interaction with the substance abusing, sexually depraved audience of TFM, who are only slightly younger than myself, isn’t enough to convince me to never have children, then a story like this one about fucked up high school kids certainly is.

St. Louis County police say the synthetic drug known as “N-Bomb” has been linked to deaths in other parts of the country including California, Louisiana, Minnesota, North Dakota and Virginia.

Police say the liquid drug is often called “legal acid” and is derived from mescaline but has a different chemical compound. Users typically take the drug by ingesting blotter paper soaked with the liquid, similar to LSD.

A Chesterfield mother spoke at a city council meeting Monday night to warn people about the drug. She said in an interview that she believes her 15-year-old daughter may have mistakenly ingested N-Bomb while attending a New Year’s Eve party at her friend’s house in Wildwood.

First off, N-Bomb? Really? I understand that the name is based off the drug’s chemical composition, but what a hilariously bad name. You might not find too many people eager to take your drug if you offer it by asking, “Hey guys, wanna go drop some N-Bombs? Let’s do something crazy like see Django Unchained and drop some N-Bombs!”

Second, could there be anything worse than being unwittingly drugged with a powerful hallucinogen? Give me a roofie any day of the week. I’d much rather sleep through the nightmare than actively take part in it. Though I’ll admit, it would be pretty hard to rape me if I’m fighting you off because I think you’re a spider demon. I’ll fight a spider demon to the death, so I guess you have to weigh the good with the bad.

Still, who would do something as fucked up as drugging a 15-year-old girl and making her trip balls? Probably another 15-year-old. God, 15-year-olds are the worst. It’s why I haven’t been to their parties in like three years.

I imagine that’s the worst part of having kids. It’s not worrying about what they’ll do, it’s worrying about what all the little shitheads around them are doing. In this case, of course, it’s putting lethal drugs in their drinks and sending them out into the world, terrified and swatting at invisible pterodactyls.

Carley Alves, 47, told the Post-Dispatch on Tuesday that her daughter, an Ursuline Academy freshman, came home intoxicated, hallucinating and highly sensitive to light and sound.

If I remember my high school days, Ursuline girls definitely liked to party hard. I mean, not “hey guys, let’s drop these super strong hallucinogens and claw each others’ faces off because we think we all have lizard skin now” hard, but pretty hard.

At this point, by the time kids get to high school parents might as well dust off those old sippy cups and tell their kids to take them to parties.

“Honey, drink all the rum and cokes you want, just please do it out of this sippy cup. I KNOW it’s embarrassing but I can’t take another night of making you bite your father’s wallet and turning the heat in the house up to 90 so that you’ll sweat out the drugs. Please be safe.”

Although, it would be great if this became one of those educational videos you had to watch in health class.

“Look you brought her here and that means that YOU’RE gonna give her the shot. The day that I bring an OD’in bitch to your prom after-party, then I give her the shot.”

Kids drug the darndest things.

In all seriousness though, best wishes to that girl and her family.


Image via The Phoenix New Times Blog


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