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As you read in my most recent Weekly Dump column, morale among New Jerseyans has been at an all-time high in recent weeks as poop and fart toys have been flying off the shelves, bringing joy to families throughout the Garden State.

But leave it to the government to put a damper on all the fun in the form of the New Jersey legislature’s upcoming vote that would ban flying drones under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

From Newser:

The State Senate has already voted to ban drunken or drugged droning and the Assembly is expected to do the same shortly. If the law passes as expected, Gov. Chris Christie will have to sign it before he leaves office this month or the legislation will die. Jersey is one of at least 38 states considering laws regulating drones this year.

New Jersey legislators are considering making the punishment for droning while intoxicated six months in prison or a $1000 fine, Newsweek reports. The law would also make it a crime to use drones to hunt animals or engage in any activity that endangers people or their property. In addition, any pilot who uses a drone to endanger the “safety or security of a correctional facility” or interfere “with a first responder who is actively engaged in response” would face a maximum punishment of 18 months in prison and a fine of up to $10,000.

I’m sorry, I thought this was America. You mean to tell me that railing a couple lines of blow, downing a 12-pack, and chasing a squirrel around your local prison with a state-of-the-art UAV will soon be grounds to get you thrown in the slammer? Someone get Rand Paul on the horn and tell him to preemptively filibuster this nonsense.

Apparently drone sales are skyrocketing, but what’s the point of having a drone if you can’t even use it for drunken shenanigans? Like what are you even supposed to do with it? Take tasteful shots of scenery? How about this for some scenery: me shooting double-barrel middle fingers at every member of the New Jersey assembly while at the same time flying my recently purchased DJI Mavic Pro Quadcopter through the New Jersey subway with a BAC of .2 and a SGR (shits given ratio) of .0..

[via Newser]

Image via Pixabay

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Socrates Johnson