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Researchers at Erciyes University in Turkey conducted a groundbreaking study with results that are a major victory for overweight dudes. The study found that body mass index correlates to how long you can last in the bedroom–fat guys last an average of 7.3 minutes, while men with little body fat are lucky to last two minutes.
The reason? Female hormones. Men with excess fat showed higher levels of the female estradiol sex hormone. This substance apparently disrupted their bodies’ natural “male” neurotransmitter chemicals and slowed their progression towards orgasm. Ironically, the less masculine their bodies appeared, the better lovers they proved to be.
The scientists compared the BMI and sexual performance of over 100 men who were being treated for sexual dysfunction with 100 other males who lasted longer during sex. They found that men suffering from premature ejaculation were on the whole thinner and fitter than their “better endowed” brethren.
A real win for all you BMCs (Big Man Certified) out there. You’re carrying your weight both physically and figuratively between the sheets. “I’ll work out when I stop getting laid” might become a legitimate argument now.
Hell, maybe I’ll let myself go and forget all the other health risks that come with being obese, just so I can become a marathon man in the sack. I could find some well-fitting Hawaiian shirts, spread the word on this study some more, sit back, and watch the ladies flock to my direction.