New Techniques For Shotgunning Your Beer, Animal Style


Shotgunning is great and all, but everyone is always looking for the next big way to drink beer or get shithoused beyond all belief. Going back to your animal instincts may provide some insight on the most exciting ways to consume alcohol yet.

Imagine yourself at a party being casual, then you bull a beer open on your forehead. People are going to know you are there to party. Plus, no one is going to attempt to fight the guy who is death rolling (see below) a beer on the floor. For all you high school fratstars out there, performing any one of these methods at a rush event will surely impress the actives and you’ll get an instant bid. I highly recommend doing this.

Remember these are mainly meant to be done with a beer can, but gorilla-ing (see below) a glass bottle also shows that you like to drink and mean business.

Bull (Bulling) – Smash the can into your forehead until it bursts, then chug from the top.

Vulture – Wait until your beer skunks, then drink it.

Snake – Squeeze the beer between your legs or bicep until it bursts open, then chug.

Wolf (Teen Wolfing) – Shake up the can and bite into it, then chug.

Elephant – Dump a beer directly into your nose or funnel it in.

Squirrel – Hide your beer in a secret place for the winter, then drink it 5 months later.

Hummingbird – Have someone hold your beer while you chug and flap your arms as fast as you can.

Whale – Swallow the entire beer can whole.

Alligator (Death Rolling) – Laying on the ground, bite into a beer while rolling and start chugging.

Golden Bald Eagle – Sprint to your roof and violently throw your beer down until it blows up, then chug the remains.

Sea Otter – While lying on your back use only a rock to break open your beer, then chug.

Eel – Attach a car battery to your beer can, then proceed to wear rubber gloves and chug your beer.

Mockingbird – Every time someone else in the room drinks you drink too and whistle afterwards.

Donkey – Donkey kick your beer across the room until it opens, then chug.

Gorilla – With closed fists, smash your beer until it opens, then chug.

Bear – Have someone throw you a beer from a body of water. After swatting it to the ground as hard as possible, let out a roar, then chug.

Swordfish – Cut your beer in half with one swing of a Samurai sword. Gulp down the remains.

Woodpecker – With a beer sitting on the table smash your nose into it until it breaks open, then chug.

Please submit picture and video evidence of you trying each of these new methods to drink beer.


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