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Of all the skills that a college student hones during their college years, three top the list as showing the most improvement in that time and being the most valuable to later adult life: heavy drinking, sexual prowess, and multitasking. The latter helps to ensure that the two former can occur while simultaneously not failing classes, and the two former are just very important parts of a happy and fulfilling life. Many times, students use all three of these skills at once.
During a night of heavy drinking, a couple of drunk college students might put aside the task of furthering their blood alcohol content and take a trip upstairs to multitask. That is to say, they enjoy their current state of inebriation while also getting laid. The truly talented multitaskers, or the unfortunately sober ones, can take it to the next level when they bring alcohol into the bedroom, taking swigs of beer between thrusts, shots of Jack between positions, or simply have a warm up beer and cool down mixed drink.
Many a photo has circulated through chapter group messages that depicts a successful sexual multitasking endeavor, from the after-sex beer, to the after-sex Tinder swipe, to the after-sex Pokémon catch.
Woah, woah, woah, hold on there Sweetheart — Pokémon?
Yes, Pokémon. People are taking nude photos of themselves and their slams through the augmented reality of Pokémon Go.
Plenty of people are taking nude selfies and sharing them on social media too, and there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to NSFW Pokémon Go pictures.
If you have any thought in your head that anything to do with Pokémon Go is instantly NF, let me throw some perspective at you. Catching a Charmander during or after sex is as much of a power move as cracking open a beer, swiping on Tinder, or calling an Uber before she can even find her bra combined. It comes down to the idea that sure, sex is great, but that doesn’t mean she necessarily is. Making a girl feel unimportant is the ultimate way to get her to work harder at that blowjob or convince her to go the extra mile and finally say yes to #BUTTSTUFF2016.
This concept has applications across the board, as I’ve mentioned. It can be effective when ignoring her requests to cuddle in favor of getting a beer from the fridge, or immediately hitting up another girl while she’s still in bed with you, but Pokémon Go is far more insulting to her. She understands that you like to drink, and it makes sense to want a beer after you just exerted more energy in three minutes that you did the rest of the day combined. She’d be furious that you’re already trying to get it in with someone else, but it’s nothing new; you’re just another fuck boy for her to hate.
Playing a game that was originally for children, instead of paying attention to the naked co-ed beside you, is an absolute power move. And come on, the idea of a Diglett or a Dugtrio sitting next to her back door is just plain funny..
Image via YouTube