New York Mafia Promises To Protect The Big Apple From ISIS

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Nobody loves a good mafia story like I do. The Sopranos? My favorite television series. GoodFellas? Maybe not as good as FratFellas, but still one of my favorite films.

Basically, if a story has a plot-line that involves the mafia or a casino, I am all in. Hell, just writing about this stuff has me craving baked ziti so bad I’m about to Favor it to my front door.

A son of a prolific New York mobster made the news this week after promising that the mafia would do its best to protect New York City from ISIS. During an interview with a local television station, Giovanni Gambino said “the rise of global terrorism gives the Mafia a chance to show its good side.”

From The New York Post:

The son of infamous mob figure John Gambino says the La Cosa Nostra is ready to fight ISIS in New York City — and that the Mafia can do a better job of protecting the city from terror attacks than the NYPD.

Giovanni Gambino said during an interview with NBC that “the rise of global terrorism gives the Mafia a chance to show its good side.”

“We make sure our friends and families are protected from extremists and terrorists, especially . . . the Islamic State,” Gambino said.

I like to imagine a dramatic pause in place of that ellipsis. The mafia will not be trifled with, ISIS. I know you’re a new money organization that thinks it can waltz in wherever it wants and cause mayhem, but crime in New York has been an established practice for generations — and you don’t stand a fucking chance.

It’s kind of funny that the mafia even bothered to release a statement about this, clearly in search of some good PR. I guess somebody finally found [commence New York Italian accent sequence] Donny’s cousin washed up on the banks of the East River and needed to pull a quick one on the media [End sequence].

A Mafia-ISIS shootout with a bunch of overweight balding Italian men curbstomping some fucking terrorists? I think I smell the next big Scorsese hit.

[via New York Post]

Image via YouTube

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