Nicest Older Couple On Earth Is Going To PCB For Spring Break

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I can’t speak for the husband being nice since I didn’t exchange emails with him, but I’m sure he’s a real charmer considering how absolutely adorable and sweet his wife Lynn is. What a lady. Side note: Lynn is a great All-American nice mom name.

Lynn and her husband recently booked a house in Panama City Beach for mid-March, unknowing that PCB is the spring break mecca of the United States. While researching her upcoming vacation, she stumbled upon an article I wrote last year about the banning of alcohol on the beach during the month of March, PCB’s attempt to tame the wild spring break crowds — all the drugs, binge drinking, public sex, etc. that you animals get into. This is when Lynn learned about PCB’s deplorable spring break reputation, much to her dismay.

Her first email is below.

Hi Dillon – I just read an article you wrote about Spring Break 2016 – no alcohol allowed on the beaches on Panama City during Spring Break? My husband and I have reservations for a vacation in Panama City March 12-20, 2016. Can you tell me what this Alcohol Ban involves and if this is ALL beaches? We did not know this was a big Spring Break town when we booked our trip –

If you can’t answer my questions, would you know who I can call??

Thank you soooo much!

I asked her, politely, how old they are.

LOL! We Are 55! We usually go to Fort Myers Beach but decided to try something different and had NO clue Panama City was a wild party town for Spring Break! There were lots of kids in Ft Myers but nothing like what your article described.

I told Lynn that since this is the first year the ban is in place, I don’t know what to expect regarding the spring break crowds. I can’t imagine this spring break bucket list destination will turn into a ghost town during the month of March, but will it scare some people away to South Padre, Gulf Shores, Cancún, etc? A little, probably.

But we’re talking about a spring break beach where this happened:

I told Lynn I had to write about this. The All-American 55-year-old couple heading out in the morning to the white sands of PCB with towels and an umbrella, probably a Michael Crichton novel in hand, just looking to catch a few rays and take some casual, ankle-deep strolls along the beach. Fast forward three hours and they’re engulfed by thousands of drunk, horny spring breakers forcing beer bongs and joint rips on the nice couple.

Some pervs will try to convince Lynn to go topless, but of course she’s not that kind of lady.

LOL! Send me a copy of your article! We live in Wisconsin, and just never have heard about Panama City being crazy – When we were in college it was Ft Lauderdale or Miami. And we were never that crazy or destructive!

Maybe I will send you an update after we get back from our trip – we thought about cancelling but decided to see what its all about! LOL
Thank you and have a great day!

Need that update, Lynn. Have to have it.

P.S. I’m embarrassed sweet Lynn read this filth from the article she read of mine:

There are only so many public sex acts and fist fights and titty flashes and crotch groping and hardcore drug ingesting and STD swapping you can do on that beach before the authorities step in and pull the plug on the whole operation.

I’m so sorry, Lynn.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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