Apparently 2018 is the year of dudes doing weird shit to their dicks. First, you’ve got bros from Bangkok bleaching their boners, and now nitroglycerin is being touted as a souped-up erectile dysfunction cure.
A troublesome-sounding trend for sure, considering that nitroglycerin is typically used to, you know, blow shit up. But a low dosage of the stuff is being used in a new gel that could be giving Viagra and Cialis a run for their money.
A UK trial of anti-impotence gel at University College Hospital found that it worked 12 times faster than Viagra – and cured impotence in seven out of ten cases.
With five minutes, 44% of men were able to achieve an erection after rubbing it into their penises.
But wait, there’s more!
Consultant urologist David Ralph told The Sun: “Potential advantages include potential for a fast action and ease of use.”
“Their use could be incorporated into sexual foreplay, increasing the level of intimacy between couples.” Side effects include headaches, but the doctors are confident these can be overcome by adjusting the recipe.
Adjusting the recipe? We’re talking about nitroglycerin here. One little tweak of the formula and you could go from experiencing better stiffies to exploding your dick into oblivion.
Upon further research (thank god for Wikipedia), it has actually come to my attention that nitroglycerin is actually known for medical uses like lowering blood pressure and things of that nature. So maybe these English scientists know what they’re doing after all.
Just imagine the advertising campaigns that will pop up once Nitro Gel hits the American market though.
Fade in. A man and woman lay in separate bathtubs and hold hands while they bathe in a majestic beachside sunset. All of the sudden, the bathtubs explode, and a greased-up Guy Fieri surfs up to the shore on tsunami-sized waves.
“What’s up, fellas? Guy Fieri from Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives here. Having trouble keeping your penis hard? Well have no fear, because thanks to a new product from the guys who brought you Monster Energy Drink and dynamite, you will never be flaccid ever again. Introducing Nitro Gel, the groundbreaking erectile dysfunction medication for the irrational male. Just rub a little on that broken dick and enjoy your forever erection!”
A shark springs from the water out of nowhere, but Guy inhales it in one gulp.
“Whoa, that was a close one! Side effects may include painful erections, anxious erections, abrasive erections, intrusive erections, and death. Nitro Gel. Putting the sex back in sexplosion.” .
Image via Flickr