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No NBA? No Problem

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Some guy from four or five offices down asked me a very relevant, topical sports question the other day. Only, it wasn’t relevant or topical to my interests. He said, “R.D., what are your thoughts on the NBA lockout? You think we’re gonna miss the whole season?” I responded, “The NBA? When was it supposed to start?” He continued, “Dude, like two weeks ago. It’s all over the news. So, what do you think…?”

Here we go again, huh. Another year, another spoiled league of professional athletes feel they are entitled to the next tier of wealth. An announcement by the NBA Players Association President Derek Fisher hit the wire November 14, saying they planned to file an antitrust lawsuit against the league. In layman’s terms, the players did not accept the deal put forth by the league owners and will continue to hold out. In dipshit terms, those greedy assholes want more money. Yeah, I suppose the players do have some bargaining leverage in this situation. A lot of damn people watch these no defense-playing, foul-complaining, entourage-having, tattoo-covered, overpaid cry babies run up and down the court.

Another thing helping is that the owners want this deal to happen as much as they do. They are both hemorrhaging money, and quickly. Tuesday was the first payday of the season in the NBA. Checks would have hit bank accounts to the tune of $425,000. That’s the average NBA player’s monthly pay check. So, what’s next? How do they reach an agreement and get back on the hardwood? Don’t know. Don’t care. And I’m thinking you don’t either. If you’re a rarity in our demographic and do appreciate a little professional roundball, take solace in the fact that Cubes may get to carry around the championship trophy for another year.

I think TFM user Oprah Is A Dyke put it perfectly today: “NBA Pledge is locked out of the house until he realizes that no one gives a shit about him. TFM.” Aside from the very few fucks given, do we really want these guys to have more free time on their hands? Young, dumb, rich and jobless is sure to lead to some trouble and run-ins with the law. We know the Kardashian sisters are excited about all this extra free time they’ll get, but society could be the real loser here.

So, to my work acquaintance in the smaller, window-less office down the hall who asked if I’d be missing the 2011/2012 NBA season: As Peter Gibbons would say, “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missin’ it, Bob.”

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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