Are you a weed-smoking, underachieving, ne’er-do-well? Do people sometimes mistake you for a homeless person? Do you feel like your school doesn’t offer the right programs to quench your entrepreneurial thirst? Well pack your bags, because it’s time to transfer, and I’ve got just the place for you.
A university in Michigan is offering an unusual degree — in marijuana.
Northern Michigan University in Marquette began its medical plant chemistry program this semester, with about a dozen students in the first class, the Detroit Free Press reported. The program combines chemistry, biology, botany, horticulture, marketing and finance.
Finally a major for all of you out there who can’t spell sophomore but know the chemical makeup of hundreds of different strains of sativa. I just like to picture how they explained it to their parents who are paying tuition.
“Dad, I declared a major!”
“That’s great, son. What did you decide to go with? Business? History? Something with science?”
“Better than all of those! I chose marijuana growing!”
But no need to fear, father. It’s not just some blowoff major, as one student explained.
“When they hear what my major is, there are a lot of people who say, ‘Wow, cool dude. You’re going to get a degree growing marijuana,'” said Alex Roth, a sophomore in the program. “But it’s not an easy degree at all.”
Get off his back, dad. He’s out here learning chemistry, biology, and even business. You think it’s easy to grow marijuana? Think again, sir. Besides, since it’s basically three majors rolled into one, aren’t you getting more out of the education than other students? Three for the price of one. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.
One might ask why a university might have a major like this? The easy answer is to say that recreational marijuana is quickly moving towards legalization in the United States, and there is going to be a need for professionals who actually know what they are doing.
But the truth? It’s a recruiting tool. Sorry to break the news, but not a ton of people are jumping at the chance to attend school in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Six months of winter; no fucking thanks. Hence the Bachelors of Cannabis now being offered. I think it’s high time a lot of universities went this route. Give the people what they want..