======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
I don’t have a celebrity doppelgänger, probably because I’m not good looking enough. But I’m okay with that, mostly because it means randos won’t stop me on the street looking for autographs and pictures or with amateur sex tape propositions. But if I did have a celebrity lookalike, I’d own it, just like this bearded Texas guy did in Six Flags when — after being mistaken for Santa Claus — he started taking pics with kids and giving them candy canes out of his wife’s purse. Six Flags promptly kicked him out, and then said he could only come back in if he shaved his beard.
At first, I thought “how dare Six Flags do that to Santa?” But after reading the whole story, I kind of have to side with Six Flags on this one.
From The New York Post:
A bearded, bespectacled Texas man isn’t feeling too jolly after being kicked out of a Six Flags theme park for looking too much like Santa Claus.
Jerry Henderson of Burleson, Texas says he and his wife have visited Six Flags Over Texas almost every weekend for three years to walk the park for exercise.
Henderson, who sports a long white beard, and small, rimless-glasses says park officials never had a problem with his appearance—until Saturday.
“This ain’t a costume,” Henderson told CBS Dallas-Fort-Worth of his signature, Santa-like look which he says he’s maintained for almost two decades. During the holiday season, he wears a red vest and Santa hat, too.
“I go to Walmart like this. This is me,” he said. “I enjoy making kids smile.”
While visiting Six Flags Saturday, Henderson says another park visitor approached him to pose for a picture with her children. That’s when the trouble started.
“ knelt down, put my arms around them, and afterward I reached in my wife’s walker, pulled out two candy canes, handed it to them,” Henderson said of the encounter.
A park security staffer soon approached and immediately told the Kris Kringle lookalike that he was no longer welcome.
“’We’re gonna have to ask you to leave’,” Henderson says the guard told him. “I said, ‘For what reason?’ He said, ‘You look too much like Santa Claus.’ And I’m like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ I do not approach kids. The parents come to me.”
Henderson claims he then offered to take off his hat and promised to stop handing out any treats but says the park manager told him that wouldn’t be enough—he’d have to get rid of the beard, too.
Now, on the one hand, it’s not like this Henderson guy posted up on a park bench outside of Superman and was having kids just come over and pop a squat on his lap… although I’m not sure what separates that from what happens at malls all across the country even if it were the case. Like, maybe a background check? But it’s mall security, so how thorough could they really be? On the other, he wears the fucking Santa hat and has the beard, so he’s looking for the attention. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is this Henderson guy and his wife are absolute lunatics because they go to Six Flags TO GET EXERCISE!
This guy — and his wife — come to Six Flags every fucking weekend for three years straight for the exercise?! It’s like $60 bucks for an admission ticket; why not just buy — oh, I don’t know — a gym membership? And maybe a spin class, too?
They’re up to something, these Hendersons. Nobody continually goes to Six Flags on the reg to crush their step count goals. And they certainly don’t just have candy canes in the holster all willy nilly. No sir. This Henderson guy knew exactly what he was doing. He loved his Santa Claus attention and, quite frankly, if I had kids at this Six Flags, there’d be no way I’d let them anywhere near these looney tunes briskly walking through the park, handing out candy canes, and snapping photos with toddlers. I’m glad Six Flags banned this guy.
PS: His “I go to Walmart like this” line to defend his appearance is so Americana that it cracks me up..
[via The New York Post]
Image via Shutterstock