Ole Miss had one hell of a Saturday. In case you’ve been living under a fucking rock where they don’t have football, the Rebels beat Alabama. Obviously, Ole Miss fans went nuts — some even decided to take down the goalposts and bring them home. This resulted in a $50,000 fine and left Vaught-Hemingway in need of some new posts. Each set of uprights costs $11,000 and there are $3,000 worth of stadium repairs. Ole Miss has some deep pockets, so $75,000 should be chump change.
However, after countless fans asked Ole Miss how they could help, the school decided to start an ignite campaign to have fans help fund the new goal posts. Donors could spend as little as $5 and receive a thank you letter from Athletic Director Ross Bjork or spend as much as $1,000 and receive a six-inch piece of the goal post.
A breakdown of the perks:
For $5 – A thank you letter from Ross Bjork. Did they get an apology letter for previous shitty seasons? Probably not.
For $25 – An exclusive image for your computer’s desktop background. Personally, I’d rather have two bottles of Kentucky Deluxe.
For $250 – A commemorative print celebrating the victory. “We didn’t win the National Championship, but we beat ‘Bama!”
For $500 – A three-inch piece of the post. Three freakin’ inches. That’s how you get asked, “Is it in yet?”
For $1,000 – A six-inch piece of the post. Pretty solid. Pretty average. Probably gets the job done.
The campaign was so successful that it raised more than $85,000 in four hours. Right now, the fund sits close to $96,000 with 21 days left in the campaign. This afternoon, the campaign will add new perks, such as 100 powder blue helmets for those who missed out on a shot at a three-inch or six-inch piece of the post.
Personally, I think Ole Miss is being cheap here. Come on–$75,000 is nothing to you. Pay the $75k out of your own pocket and use the donated funds on a giant party with strippers and booze and clowns and bouncy castles and shit..
Image via Twitter