NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

On Gun Control and Misinformation

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====


The recent massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School and the Aurora shooting in Colorado have reawakened the old and difficult discussion about gun control in America. Even though these events are truly tragic, the discourse on gun control is just as gridlocked as it has ever been.

Honestly, I’m sick of hearing about it. Every time another human tragedy occurs, both sides jizz in their pants at the opportunity to spout and defend their opinions.

The simple fact is that the arguments for gun control fall short of the facts. Nobody is talking about the real issue. The gun control agenda is misguided and misinformed. Most people think it’s about saving lives or protecting the innocent… it’s not.

The statistics can be distorted to support almost any claim. I don’t care that there were 8,583 firearm homicides in America. By itself that number looks unsettling, but there are over 300 million people in America. The odds are pretty good that a gun won’t kill you, especially if you live anywhere other than Detroit.

In America, you are three times more likely to trip and kill yourself than you are of getting killed by a gun. Cars are four times as deadly as guns and four times as many people die each year from accidentally eating poison than from getting shot by a gun. Those are some pretty stupid statistics.

Check them out for yourself at the CDC website.

26,009 people die each year from “unintentional falls.” There were also 33,687 “Motor vehicle traffic deaths” and 33,041 “Unintentional poisoning deaths”.

Now I don’t know about you guys, but I’m a pretty decent driver. I don’t have problems avoiding cliffs and I try to keep my bleach drinking to a minimum. Even though I am not fully retarded… falling, crashing, and accidentally ingesting poison are more likely to kill me than guns. Human stupidity is far more dangerous, statistically speaking, than guns could ever be. But despite how incredibly stupid we are, guns only killed 8,583 people in 2011.

So why is there even a debate about gun control? Guns are responsible for less than 1% of all deaths in America. There are much larger and more dangerous problems facing society. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. When you look at the numbers, guns aren’t the problem. Do you know what is a problem?

Excessive alcohol consumption kills 80,000 people.

The surgeon general estimates that obesity kills 300,000 people a year in America.

More deaths are caused each year by tobacco use than by all deaths from HIV, illegal drug use, alcohol use, motor vehicle injuries, suicides, and murders combined. That’s 443,000 deaths annually.

That’s fucking insane. Smith and Wesson doesn’t even touch Phillip Morris or McDonald’s when it comes to mass murder. People need to take a step back and realize that alcohol, cigarettes, and cheeseburgers are way worse for society than guns. Despite how dangerous these things are proven to be, they are everywhere. This is America. It’s part of our culture. No one would dare think of banning cheeseburgers.

The argument for a ban on “assault weapons” is completely ridiculous. The odds that a firearm in America will be used in a shooting spree is almost 1 in 43 million. I was wasted watching Shark Week one night when I learned that the odds of being attacked by a shark in the United States are roughly 1 in 8 million. 1 in 8 million compared to 1 in 43 million. That means that any random shark in the ocean is almost 5 times more likely to attack you than an American gun is to be used in a shooting spree.

Who cares about the guns, why aren’t we ERADICATING THE MENACING SHARK THREAT!?!? Where is the “fuck all sharks bill” in congress? Call the goddamn Navy and load up the depth charges. Isn’t legislation supposed to protect people?

Statistics can be misleading, even mine if I wanted them to be. The pure and simple fact is that people kill people. They always have and they always will. No measure of gun control will ever stop that. The interesting part is that “assault weapons” don’t kill that many people. Out of the 8,583 homicides, only 323 people were killed with “rifles” and that statistic doesn’t even distinguish the difference between a fully automatic AK-47 and a bolt-action deer rifle. Obviously there is a CANYON of difference between those two weapons. And oh by the way, even if an assault weapon ban is passed, the deer rifle will STILL be legal. 496 people were killed with blunt objects and 728 were killed with “personal weapons” such as hands, fists, feet, etc.

Hammers kill more people than assault weapons. Let that sink in for a moment. Why don’t we ban hammers? That seems logical. Twice as many people are killed with hands and fists than with rifles. Why don’t we ban… I don’t know… karate?

Assault weapons aren’t the problem. Trying to ban them is just as pointless as banning hammers. It’s all just a bunch of overblown media bullshit.

We tried banning assault weapons in 1994 and it did nothing. Research concludes that the 1994 Assault Weapons ban “did not reveal any clear impacts on gun violence outcomes.”

You’ve got to look at the facts. It’s easy to get caught up in the emotional shit storm that is created by the parasitic media. Hell, it’s understandable. How could you not feel something after Sandy Hook? Still, you’ve got to think with your head, not your emotions. Gun control doesn’t work. Do your own research. Don’t fall for the ratings fueled fear mongering that is inevitable after these horrific events.

The large majority of gun crime in America is gang and drug related. The majority of the guns used are obtained illegally. Gun control doesn’t stop criminals from getting guns. The illegal gun trade is alive and well in America, just ask the ATF.

If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. You have to look through the smoke and mirrors to the core of the issue. It’s a proven fact that gun bans do not significantly affect gun violence, so why are people even talking about it?

That’s the real problem facing America. Why is there so much support for gun control? It doesn’t help the victims of gun crimes. Instead of protecting the innocent, it only makes them more vulnerable. All it does is take away the rights of law-abiding citizens who want to purchase arms for protection or recreation. Gun control is only beneficial to the criminals.

Taking away guns doesn’t affect the real problems, which are very complex. Gun control is a fix-all failure that doesn’t address mental health, poverty, gangs, drugs, education. There are some measures of it that attempt to address the illegal gun trade, but hardly enough to make an impact.

In fact, the government has hampered its own efforts to curb the illegal gun trade. There hasn’t been a full time director of the ATF for six years and the number of agents currently working with the ATF is the exact same number as when it was founded in the 1970s. You know, when the population was a lot smaller than 300 million. Not to mention a series of bills and provisions has essentially castrated the ATF’s ability to effectively police the illegal firearm trade. It’s a big fucking mess.

No matter how many bullshit statistics and excuses people use, gun control is nothing more than a direct attack on the second amendment. The founding fathers didn’t include the second amendment to ensure that we are able to go hunting.

They included it so that we can kick the shit out of any fascist motherfuckers who try to oppress us and take away our freedoms. That’s part of our culture. That’s part of what it means to be an American.

The government wants to ban assault weapons because the government is terrified of an armed civilian population. It’s not about self-defense from criminals. It’s about self-defense from tyranny.


“A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” -Amendment II of the Constitution.

“I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people… To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them… ” -George Mason

“The Constitution shall never be construed to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms. ” -Samuel Adams

“No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. “- Thomas Jefferson

“Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property… Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them.” –Thomas Paine

“Americans have the right and advantage of being armed ― unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.” –James Madison

“The militia, when properly formed, are in fact the people themselves… all men capable of bearing arms… Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves?… Congress shall have no power to disarm the militia. Their swords, and every other terrible implement of the soldier, are the birth-right of an American … The unlimited power of the sword is not in the hands of either the federal or state governments, but where I trust in God it will ever remain, in the hands of the People.” – Tench Coxe


The real debate about gun control in America is not about assault weapons and hammers. Get your facts straight and join the conversation.


Email this to a friend


RageTheory (@RageTheory) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. He enjoys long walks of whiskey and sodomy on the beach.

136 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed