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It’s no secret that we here at Grandex Media love the crisp, refreshing taste of Zima and the brand behind it. I mean, we practically broke the news of Zima’s return back in February, and I walked around the office earlier today looking like a walking, talking Zima billboard because Zima apparel (most notably the Zubaz) are the hottest fashion trend of Summer ’17.
But I’m not quite so sure anyone in the world loves Zima as much as Austin, TX resident Chris Porterfield. Chris, who for whatever reason likes to refer to himself as “A Teen With A Dream” despite the fact that he’s in his mid-twenties, has been patiently awaiting the return of Zima ever since the moment he turned 21 and he’s absolutely ecstatic that it’s currently back for a limited release. What he’s not so thrilled about, however, is the prospect that once the limit is met on this release, his beloved Zima will once again find itself off store shelves. So he’s on a mission to do something about it.
And when I heard the details of his magnificent Zima-centric mission? I knew I had to get the Big Scoop.
Good afternoon Jared,
I was informed that you might be interested in a mission I have recently undertaken to promote the refreshing adult beverage, Zima.
For those unaware, Zima is a citrus flavored malt beverage with an ABV of 5% from the early 90s. It has returned to stores for the summer as a limited release, scheduled to end on Labor Day.
Zima is a brand I identify with on a fundamental level. To me, Zima represents some of the best things life has to offer. Summer days relaxing by the pool with an ice cold drink. Bikini Babe’s with obnoxiously large, bird shaped floaties. Buying a six pack of something and drinking all six of it. Showing up to the bar and loading up enough consecutive plays of Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back in Town” to get you kicked out before sunset. That’s Zima, baby.
I tossed Zima a follow on Instagram the other day and noticed they don’t seem to have any specific spokesperson. As a noted Zima enthusiast, I thought I would throw my hat in the ring.
After waiting almost a whole 24 hours, I realized I would have to offer them something more. It is my mission to convince the Coors Brewing Company, which manufactures Zima, that it would behoove them to relaunch the Zima brand as a full, unlimited release. The people crave it, even if they don’t know it yet. But we’d have to make a big splash. To prove my worth, I decided to go big.
I have begun collecting funds for the Super Bowl ad already, using GoFundMe. Already, we have collected $7.00 out of the $5 million goal, which I believe is a fair estimate of the minimum cost of the project. The next step is to raise the remaining $4,999,993. A link to the fundraising site is as follows:
So far, I have not had any luck getting a response from the Zima marketing team, but I will not give up. I intend to post new Zima-promoting content on my Instagram account (@warmest_regards) regularly. Follow me on my voyage.
Please let me know if there is any additional information I could provide to help you out with your story.
Thanks for the response and provided info, Chris. The only information you can provide me with that would help me out with the story is a photo of you with an oversized novelty check for $7,500,000 once you blast by your goal to the tune of 150%. Zima awareness is a cause we can all get behind.
CLICK HERE to donate to Chris’ cause..