Are You A Loser If You’re A Grown Man And Wear A Jersey ?

On Twitter today I saw that people were saying that if you’re over the age of 18 that you shouldn’t be wearing a jersey. As someone who loves to wear jerseys, and sweatpants like a true scumbag this felt like a stab in my heart.

There’s nothing better than during a hot summer day to wear a jersey with basketball shorts. Maybe you’re feeling a little frisky and want to rock no underwear under the shorts. You know to get a nice little breeze through your swamp ass, and on your disgusting balls. As someone who works outside for 40 hours a week I get a horrible farmers tan. I’m a nice golden tan from my elbow down, and then I’m a disgusting pale white from the elbow up. Rocking a jersey during those days that the sun is blistering down on you, lets you get an even tan on your entire arms. So if you’re lucky and hooking up with a girl, your upper arms don’t look like a fucking glow stick in the dark.

Then when the weather starts to change you can rock a jersey over a long sleeve or sweatshirt. The combo of a jersey over a sweatshirt, and extra large sweatpants is the most comfortable that you can possibly feel. Sure you can look prim and proper with your LL Bean jacket, but a jersey over a sweatshirt is elite.

I saw an argument that people were making that grown men shouldn’t have another mans name on their back. Why do I care if I have another mans name on my back. That person has accomplished more than this jackass mailman can accomplish. So they should get the recognition that they deserve.

If I’m out at a bar and the Eagles are playing there’s a 100% chance I’ll be wearing either a Dawkins or Vick jersey. Then when I’m about 10 beers deep the inner scumbag Eagles fan will come out and I’ll be screaming at people while I fluff out my jersey.

So in conclusion wear that jersey, and don’t be afraid of what people think. If you’re comfy, you’re happy. Release that inner scumbag that is inside everyone.